03.09.2026
We live in a society that creates a massive amount of stress, which sabotages health. And, as per usual, most of this stress is put upon immigrants and the children of immigrants.
The immigrants are made to jump over a number of bureaucratic hurdles which stop many of them from ever escaping from the jaws of poverty and becoming settled in life. The children? They watch what the state puts their parents through. They are made to understand the horrible sacrifices that their parents had to make for them in leaving their countries and families and friends behind, the expectations their parents put on them, made to feel all these heavy weights, this crushing weight of expectation that they will live the better lives that their parents tried to give them.
As a result, the children of immigrants have an increased risk for depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other mental health problems.
I am one of these children of immigrants. My feeling about the unique cause of this stress is a lack of love. This is what it comes down to.
When you are the son of immigrants, it becomes very clear that no one loves you. That no one cares for you. You are rejected by the country that your parents come from. They see you as an outsider. You are rejected by the country that you are born in. They see you as an outsider. You are rejected by the other children of immigrants. They also see you as an outsider.
Permanently, you are a stranger.
One of the charities that I volunteer at tries to make strangers into a community. Because being a stranger causes isolation and alienation, atomisation. But what can you do when the community will never let you become anything else but a stranger?
The mind gives way. Humans need a community of some sort. When there is no community of any sort, it is the time for mental heath issues to creep in. For stress to overtake the system. And stress asks for a cure.
When you are the child of immigrants, you get no belonging anywhere. In fact, you are always asked to choose what culture you will be in without ever being accepted in any culture. Without belonging to any culture.
How do you cope with this stress? With the constant stress of decision making without the rewards of being accepted, recognised or loved? You have the pressure of always creating your own identity, always being seen with suspicion, never being understood. You have the pressure of being rejected from work, relationships and friendships because you are perceived as a stranger.
When people meet me for the first time, they make comments like you don’t look Indian. People guess that I am of different ethncities. There is the radical uncertainty as to what I am and where I come from. This is the radical uncertainty in which we live, the children of immigrants. No one will let us have an origin and an identity. No one is sure who we are. Everyone sees us as a stranger. And love? She is hard to find in a universe of ice.
