the control of words and the words of control

08.06.2026

A: I see that you have rested a few days. Do you no longer feel the compulsion to write?

S: I am losing this compulsion.

A: Why?

S: You know the story behind all this. The situation has gone. Life has transformed.

A: Yet you have written your whole life. What is this new reluctance?

S: One looks at what writing has given to one. What is it but less than an handful of dust?

A: There, you are wrong. It is writing that has given you the mind that is a razor. It is writing that has given you your ability to think, reason, argue and fight for what is right. In short, it is writing that has given you everything. Including a name. Not everyone has a name. Do not forget that. You are the envy of the world. You have a public reputation. You are the champion of the community.

S: It is not particularly satisfying.

A: You are too demanding. You are never content. But remember, it is writing that has given you your freedom. Because you write the truth.

S: Writing is about the control of words. It is the words of control.

A: You do not find freedom in what you write?

S: Can one then write anything?

A: Should one write just anything? Surely you only want to write the truth? And the truth, it must have limits. Therefore, you cannot write whatever.

S: I want to exceed all limits.

A: And truth?

S: Perhaps the truth is too limited.

A: You have told me that you escape from the confines of control. Because you are the Independence of India and you are The Tiger. Is it not true?

S: That is the question for my readers to decide.

A: And there. We have had our conversation. You will begin to write again. Because it is important for our community to express ourselves. And you are important for our community. You build the community. You are its architect, inspiration, prayer and god.

S: One writes with reluctance. One fights with reluctance. Yet one does these things. Duty is greater than comfort. Honour is greater than complacency. And virtue? It is more important than life.

so much to say

04.06.2026

S: Have you ever wondered why the words never run out?

A: What do you mean?

S: I write and speak often of the same topics. India, racism, cynicism, pessimism, oppression, duty, courage, the life of a writer and an intellectual, marginalisation, alienation, depression. But the words never run out. There is an unlimited universe of language about these things.

A: You keep on spinning and spinning out this web.

S: And so does everyone. The spewers of hate have an unlimited amount of hate. The structure of racism is all pervading and systematic in this society and creates an unending spiral of words too.

A: Why spend your time dissecting and analysing racism?

S: Indeed. It makes no difference. The rational cannot fight the irrational. Knowledge cannot win over ignorance and prejudice.

A: You believe that?

S: Do you have the experience of being a genius in this world? Genius is unwanted. Why do you think there are so few geniuses? What they want is the malleable cretin. And that is what most are. Gullible. Weak. Impotent. Why else would this society be like it is?

A: You believe that only you have your wits about you? You believe that only you are strong? That only you are powerful?

S: The genius is the revolutionary. The genius is the hope of the Oppressed. Oppression cannot have genius. It can only have idiocy and slaves.

A: And we come to it again. This is why your words never run out. Because all you do is boast.

S: People read these boasts time and time again.

A: You have only a handful of readers.

S: So what? Those that have many readers and listeners are corrupt in their thoughts and their minds. Their fans worship hate and intolerance.

A: What is surprising is not so much that there is this unending stream of words in you, but the incomprehensible fact that anyone pays attention to anything that you are saying.

S: What they see in this stream of words is the eternity of the truth. And the limitlessness of true genius. You laugh. It is good to see a friend laughing, when what we see most every day are the tears of those closest to us.

the unemployed hours

03.06.2026

S: Do you ever wonder what people do out of work, in their leisure time?

A: Do you?

S: There is no way of telling. They do not share as much as I do, they do not recall as much detail as I can and they do not know how to tell a story like I do.

A: Once again, we have the enumeration of superiority and exceptionalism. I trust you know that you are a braggart? In any case, do tell. What did you do in your free time today?

S: Here is the list:

Going to the University of the Arts London to see the graduate Design show.
Time with my girlfriend.
Shopping.
Planning of leisure time, scheduling of volunteering and work (diary management).
Dinner at home.
Reading The New Scientist.
Reading ‘Great Tales from English History’ by Robert Lacey.
Language learning through poetry, stories, dialogues and newspaper articles in Spanish, French, Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu.
Writing two entries on my blog, one in the morning after waking up, one in the night time before going to sleep.
Reading psychology articles online.
Drawing a digital artwork and then sharing it online.
Watching videos online.
Contacting friends on WhatsApp.
Reading newspapers.

A: Times?

S: Six in the morning until a quarter past eleven at night.

A: And now what?

S: Goodnight.

the racist is a pangloss

03.06.2026

S: Voltaire wrote this novel, Candide. There was this figure there, Pangloss. A satirical figure that would proclaim, however horrible things are, that everything was great. That this was the best of all possible worlds.

A: That was then. What’s the relevance of that to the present moment?

S: Because the racist is a Pangloss.

A: How so?

S: The racist believes that the oppressed do not suffer from the scourge of racism. On the contrary, the racist believes that the oppressed have too good a time in this country. The racist believes that this country has given something more than a warm welcome here. That the oppressed are living it up, living a life of luxury over here. Furthermore, despite the widespread discrimination against ethnic minorities, the racist believes that they have a meritocracy in this country and that everyone is fairly rewarded for their skill and talent. That racism is over. That it doesn’t infect all things and relationships.

A: You see the Pangloss attitude as ideology?

S: I see it as absolute denial, just as Voltaire saw Pangloss as a denier of the realities. For the Pangloss, nothing has to do with racism. If you are excluded, it is not racism, it is you. If you are denied progression, it is you, it is not racism. If you are denied opportunities, it is not racism, it is you. It is you that is the problem, not racism.

A: And what do you think?

S: I know how the racist is going to act. Because I have experienced it. There is always an excuse not to give you an opportunity. There is always some excuse to exclude you. They will pick on things like you don’t drink to exclude you from the pub. And they will always go to the pub in the first place, knowing that many of us do not drink. Exclusion is built into their whole culture. For themselves, they make every excuse to include themselves. When someone is not as qualified, they will get the job. When someone has no experience, they will change the format of the interview to make them get the job, taking out any assessment of experience. But for you? Even if your job slightly differs from the job specification, they will pretend that you don’t have the experience and that you are not specialised enough. If you are qualified, they will say that you are overqualified or that your qualifications are not specialised enough. They are absolutely corrupt in preserving opportunities for themselves and think we are too stupid to see it. Let’s not talk about relationships. It is not worth commenting upon the stupidity and bias.

A: So to destroy the racist, you would have to destroy Pangloss.

S: As Voltaire realised, you cannot destroy Pangloss. This culture is made up of the Pangloss. It is the culture of the Pangloss. And for the revolutionary? Pangloss is the one that you cannot be.

the shamelessness of truth, the shamelessness of racism and unlikeability

02.06.2026

S: Truth is absolutely shameless.

A: How?

S: However much truth costs, its expression must never be arrested. Truth can never be ashamed whatever the consequences and how they attempt to silence it. This world, it wants to listen to sycophancy and hate. It wants to listen to ignorance and prejudice. It wants its own way. I say fuck no. What is so good about your way? What about our way? Fuck your lip service about inclusion and diversity when you are all narrow minded and arrogant and completely non inclusive. Fuck your so-called ‘tolerance’ which really shows what you think of us and the lack of respect you give anyone that is in any way different. In short, fuck you. We do not agree with you. We do not sympathise with you. We do not want to be like you. We do not want to fit in with you. It is you that are wrong. We criticise. We denounce. And we aim to be as different from you as we can.

A: And even when truth is controversial?

S: Yes. When this world is one of sexual repression. When this world denies the reality of the body and desire. When this world is one of addicts and those who shape their whole culture around drugs such as alcohol. When this world is full of philistines and sickening conformity. When this world is full of poor judgement and unfairness and ignorance. Yes, we will say the controversial truths. What the fuck can anyone do about it? No one can argue against the truth. They can try, with their lies. But they can’t demolish the truth. It is the truth alone that is triumphant. And what if they hate us for saying so? Unlikeability in this culture is a badge of honour. Because we are unlikeable because we are not racists and don’t agree to their racism. We are not ignorant and do not agree to their ignorance. We are diverse, that is why we are unlikeable. We have our own minds. We have our own thoughts. We do not conform to them. And if that is unlikeable, so fucking what? So fucking what if it costs you something to be unlikeable? It is the unlikeable people that are the shapers and movers of culture. Not them. They are just pricks.

A: But have you not said that racism is also shameless?

S: It is. Absolutely. These people are not ashamed of their racism. They are not ashamed of their unfair assessments and bigotry. They are not ashamed of their superiority complex. It is obvious to see in who they choose amongst themselves and their leaders. In their policies and in their thinking and their laws.

A: Be true and be unlikeable then. They don’t like anyone to call out what they are doing.

S: Yet, it is the truth.

A: They accuse you of being pig-headed and never blaming yourself.

S: What is it that they are doing? Exactly the same thing. And I am right. It is them that are wrong. They just have more power than me through their racism. But I don’t want power that comes from racism, the power to say that what is wrong is right. I want the power of the truth, to say what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. And therefore, I will remain unlikeable, hated and not succeed to the power that they have. Because their power is oppression and I do not want to oppress.

UCL Slade School of Art Degree Showcase May 2026

My review of what I saw at the degree show in person in a quick one and a half hour visit after work.

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/#1

Eva Delaney – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/eva-delaney

https://evadelaney.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/eva.delaney

Eva explores science through art and a prominent motif of this exhibition was the sun, including a piece that commerated a recent space exploration mission near the sun. She works in metal and with exciting new technology such as a levitation device. One of the pieces shimmered and moved and merged together the flatness of two dimensional representation with a sort of animation. Another two pieces were about deconstructing the flat two dimensional picture to reconstruct it in metal sequins and again to reconstruct the flat space with the peculiar qualities of construction in metal. A piece on the floor covered with a glass pane investigated the primordial soup with round stones and a photograph of sand, again positioning the flat space in a relation to the three dimensional and therefore exploring different nuances of dimension.

Ruby Fogg – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.instagram.com/rubeefogg

An artist that has spent two years playing Nigella Lawson. The installation featured polaroid snapshots and small excerpts of videos repeatedly playing her being Nigella and making incomprehensible noises on a loop, perhaps indicating the repeated experience of being her every day for two years. Ruby wore a red dress, which makes me think that the performance is not just about playing the Other, but also playing the self, investigating how the Self is enmeshed in the Other, particularly in current celebrity culture. Even her business art cards featured herself as Nigella, indicating that performance is what structures identity and how we become ourselves through others.

Freya Wild – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/freya-waddington-wild

https://www.instagram.com/freyamorgan0099

Along with a friend, I walked into a multicolored tent. Inside, we found a box made out of green tiles in which Freya (I’m presuming) was sitting. This green box explored the process of exchange. Something had to be given for something to be received. We put our hands inside, giving of ourselves. And in return, out came a coloured pencil and some little slips of paper with blue print outs. This is an investigation of concealment and exchange, perhaps how the artist’s body is hidden within the works, how it is the centre and the kernal of the works. And the giving? Is this a reflection on the economics of art, its consumption and exchange value? An interesting and immersive experience which prompts amusement and novelty for the viewer, and maybe for the artist too. Because it is the interaction that makes it what it is, the reality that art is created by the artist and the viewer.

Giorgia Insalata – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/giorgia-insalata

https://giorgiainsalata.com

https://www.instagram.com/insalata_art

Interesting arrangements of the female body in black and white photography, a beautiful photography gallery. The artist’s aim with the compositions is perhaps to explore the construction of the female body and its use as a building block, as a resource which creates art and abstract shapes and designs. Very striking and imposing works.

Alfie Carter – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/alfie-carter

https://www.instagram.com/alfiejcarter

Retro-chic assemblage pieces by this Cockney artist that drew my eye. They had refined brown tones and had a very sophisticated aesthetic which explored the virtues of arrangement.

Hope Florin – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/hope-florin-sefton

https://hopeflorin.top

https://www.instagram.com/hopeflo_4

Beautiful paintings and lovely colours. My favourite was ‘According to the Map, the end of the Rainbow landed amongst some plant ponts and conch shells on the windowsill’ which caught lovers amongst the design of nature in flora and fauna. There was a kaleidoscopic quality to the work which was intriguing and it was reminding me dimly of Klimt.

Kianna Smalling – BA/BFA 2026

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/slade/events/shows/2026-degree-shows/ba-bfa/kianna-smalling

https://www.instagram.com/kianna_paints

Anonymous figurine models of shackled slaves and lynchings caught my eye here. They were done in a simple art style so there was no beautification of these terrible happenings in history. The point of the art here? To represent the continuing atrocities of history. The figures are against the backdrop of a blue sky showing how the ugliness of human nature constrasts with the beauty of nature and the removed – and humanless – heavens.

tiger in the world

01.06.2026

S: In the film ‘Hum’ (Us), there is a period where Tiger gives up life as Tiger. He lives an ordinary life. He has another name. He lives in the family. He becomes old. He becomes ordinary.

A: Can Tiger become ordinary? Can Tiger become old?

S: Of course he cannot. Because Tiger has a past. And because the nature of Tiger is that he protects The Mother. He promises himself to The Mother. He follows the philosophy of The Mother. I am not I. I am us. Tiger has to be wrenched from the ordinary world to become the champion of The Mother.

A: Why talk of this film?

S: Tiger is sinking into this ordinary world despite his destiny.

A: It is an interlude. If Tiger is not Tiger then nothing can be anything.

S: It is to stop nothing becoming anything that Tiger has to be Tiger.

A: Fight. Even though you have been cut into pieces. You have told me that warrior destiny is the war. The virtue of Tiger is that he is not ordinary. He is not old. He is forever exceptional. He is forever young.

S: And he is forever angry. You are right. A warrior cannot forget the fight. Tiger lives. All of life.

competing emphases on power

30.05.2026

S: As a generalisation, I think you can say that the oppressor’s society does not affirm or emphasise its power. You see, its power is unholy. It is unjust. Moreover, this power is accepted by the degraded culture of the oppressor. However, those in the minority camp, they must affirm their power so that none consider them powerless. Indeed, even the oppressor affirms the power of the minority. You hear them saying that the minorities are accruing too much power. Their power is always a threat. Of course, the real threat is the power of the oppressors.

A: I suppose another reason that the oppressors choose not to affirm their power is because it is more effective when it is undisclosed, for the reasons that you have suggested. Because it is shameful.

S: Do you know why they are so afraid of the minorities taking power for themselves? Because they know that the minorities are just. It is the oppressor that has no law, despite claiming that they are ruled and ruling through law and order. All the oppressor has is coercion, wickedness, lies and deceit.

A: You as a minority do affirm your power.

S: Precisely. And thus, I am hated. Although I am the most powerful. As I have said before, I am like Frankenstein. I am powerful because I am fearless. And they? They are full of fear. And therefore, they are powerless.

A: They could savage you badly. Rob everything of you.

S: It does not make them any less of a coward. Sheep are hunting in a flock. The Tiger, he stands alone. He is the last surviving man and he never accepts defeat. Death before dishonour. Extinction before cowardice.

A: You that have to affirm power then, is that not then the mark of powerlessness?

S: See if anyone can compete with me fairly on any level. They cannot.

A: In popularity they compete with you and beat you.

S: That is because I have brown skin. There is no other reason. And is that a fair reason? When we talk about merit, I am the most powerful. Because I am the best. I affirm power because I am power. I am energetic because I am energy. I am the sun. There is no doubt of it. I am god upon earth.

those it does not work out with

28.05.2026

S: The question is, when it does not work out with someone, was it supposed to have happened or was it supposed to have not happened?

A: What do you mean by supposed to?

S: Does not fate control our lives?

A: There are many that do not believe in fate. But explain. Why would a relationship be supposed to have happened?

S: Love is either necessary or it is redundant, don’t you think? Surely matches are made by fate. One does not choose who one loves. It happens. It cannot be forced.

A: But then, surely it would have worked out if the other loved you?

S: Is not love more complicated than that? Sometimes, they love. But they will not do anything about it?

A: Why?

S: They are scared about what others think. They are scared about a difference in age. They are scared by a difference in culture. They are scared by status, appearances, race, everything that should not matter.

A: You say this confidently. How do you know? How do you know that they were scared by those things? How do you know that they never loved you?

S: No one knows anything. And yet, surely the person that was in the interaction knows more than others, those that were outside of the interaction?

A: The point of what you are saying is that you had hoped for something. And now you are wondering what would have been. You are regretting.

S: Not at all. One thinks about those in the past. One does not forget about those that one cared about. However, the question is, was it meant to be? Was that what destiny had chosen for me? If it had worked out with those ones, I would be saying to myself that it was the culmination of destiny’s efforts. But then, if it didn’t work out, if misunderstandings crept in, the situation caused failure of connection, was that a disorder in destiny and the path that was chosen? Or was that destiny unfolding?

A: As I have said, destiny is an unwarranted assumption.

S: You can say that because you were not born with a destiny. You were not born to be The Tiger, the hope of the Mother, the hope of The Oppressed. Warrior destiny is the war. And love is also war. Therefore there is the destiny of love.

the significance of genius

26.05.2026

A: You are always boasting that you are a genius. You are also always saying that others are not on your intellectual level. Do you believe that you are better than other people because you are a genius?

S: Yes. Because I worked hard to become a genius. I am on my fifth degree. I spent my PhD years all by myself all day for several years. Why shouldn’t I boast about being the best? Why shouldn’t I think I am better than others? I sincerely believe that a mind like mine only comes around once every few hundred years.

A: And what is this genius in? Criticism. All you do is criticise.

S: And I am the genius at it. And besides the criticism, there is the explanation, the secret truths that make up the self in a world of imperialism, hate and oppression. What would happen if I didn’t say that I was a genius? They would think themselves better than me because they did not come from the working class. They would think themselves better than me because I am Indian. They would think themselves better than me because I come from the Untouchables, the Dalits. Therefore, I say that I am better than them. Because they judge me on how I was born. But I judge people on what they have achieved. And I have achieved the most. What have they achieved in comparison to me? I know the secrets of this world that only I can see and understand.

A: What about humility?

S: Why should a genius have humility? I am exceptional, special, whatever you want to say about it. I know my own importance in thought and in history.

A: People hate that you think you are better than them.

S: They should know how they inspire hate from us, from the fact that they think they are better than us.

A: Why can you not say that you are equal to them?

S: Because I believe in the rule of reason and of the intellect. I believe that society is best run by those that think the best, that are the most intelligent. I believe that because I am the genius, it is I that should rule. And them? They think that the ones that should rule are the rich and the powerful. That is what stupidity gets you. That’s why I am better than them in every way.