26.09.2026
All my life I wanted to be a writer. But not like this.
To many, what it means to be a professional writer is to be validated by publication and the publishers. That is what writing has meant in the past.
I have received this validation. I have been published as an academic author with a book and articles in top journals. I have been published as a poet in a poetry magazine. I have written for many websites. On top of this, I’ve written tour scripts for cultural attractions.
However, despite all of this, I do not have an overarching institution which supports my independent thought and academic output. The academic book and journals were written off my own back. There was no money supporting these projects. To get the articles done, I relied on an academic friend lending me a book and for the editors and reviewers from the journals and publishers to make constructive comments in the submission process, rather than having any readers I could turn to.
No resources. No network. No stimulating conversations with anyone about any of these topics.
What independence in thought has meant is absolute loneliness and self reliance. What it has meant to be a writer is nothingness. Nothingness all around me. And others? They have everything all around them. They have the institution. They have resources, conversations, a network. When you are not part of their agenda, you have to forge your own path in life.
What has been my response to this nothingness? I have not given up. Almost every day, I write something in my blog. I have created this blog with my own publishing outfit, THE MEHMI PRESS. I self published a small book entitled ‘Solomon and the Monstrosity of Legal Culture’ just a few days ago (see the ‘About’ page in my blog). With nothing, I create something.
This is not what I thought a writer was. This is not what I thought writing was. But the virtue of isolation and loneliness is that I have truly independent thought. No one can control or censor what I write, my contribution to the world of thought. I embody the freedom of expression which is one of the highest values in this society. And, after all, isn’t this what we prize in the writer? Isn’t it freedom that we prize the most? So, perhaps in this sense, I am writing how I think a writer should write. With absolute freedom. And with the cost of freedom and independence. Nothingness around me.
