the attempt to make life beautiful

22.03.2026

A: You are always telling me that you are trying to make life beautiful.

S: I do make life beautiful. Today, I had a wonderful day.

A: Why?

S: I work at the most beautiful places in the world, the most fascinating, the most interesting. However, I will not talk about work. I will talk about what I did outside of work.

A: What did you do?

S: In the first break in the morning, I shopped at the local Oxfam Charity Bookshop. I bought several books, including those on typography, writings from women travellers and also an exquisite little tome on gardens.

A: Then, at lunch?

S: I went down to the National Maritime Museum and went through the Astronomy Photographer of the Year exhibition. I had a wonderful time immersed in space, nebulae and the planets. I was travelling there. I saw a beautiful video about a couple that went on an adventure to photograph the Northern Lights, such a nice and kind woman, such an aid to the photographer. It was heartwarming.

A: The next thing?

S: Another break and this time I went aboard The Cutty Sark to gaze at the views around me on a boat. Followed by a cheap snack at Macdonald’s.

A: Then after work?

S: A visit to Canary Wharf to look over the buildings and the waterfront. Then a shopping expedition to Marks and Spencer’s where I picked up some wonderful dessert and tomorrow’s lunch, Thai Red Curry and Sweet and Sour Chicken. I then ambled about in the park at Canary Wharf where I sat amidst the cherry blossoms and camelias, having a conversation on the phone with my girlfriend.

A: Then when you got home?

S: I had a feast for dinner. It was chicken and spinach curry with freshly prepared chapattis. The salad was wonderful: tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce of two descriptions, red onions and a special favourite – mooli (parsnips) with garam masala. This was also washed down with 100% lychee juice and a glass of water. For dessert, I had an M & S trifle of peach, pears and pineapple.

A: To end the night?

S: Duty, my friend. There is always duty. I sat with my mother while she watched a video of an Indian wedding for a few minutes. Then, I wrote a newspaper article for the charity that I work on, a newspaper article about Punjab, the home of my people. While listening to world music instrumentals on Spotify.

A: You pack in a lot.

S: My energy and my curiosity, my greed for life, all of these are boundless. I want to live a full life and I do. It is the life I dreamed of. The life of an intellectual, the life of a lover, the life of an artist.

A: To finish the night?

S: The girlfriend again. A hot shower. Perhaps some reading. This mind needs fuel and love.

consequence is of no consequence

21.03.2026

‘There is a type of rage,’ I was telling Alfonso slowly and deliberately, ‘that keeps on growing and growing. You cannot vanquish it. It is the growth of rejection.’

‘You have it. I can see,’ answered Alfonso. He was dressed, as per usual, immaculately. He had a beautiful green blazer on that reminded me of the two colours that the Koreans called green. With a purple jumper and a yellow tie. My handsome, handsome friend. His face was alive with energy, with the radiance of the sun.

‘Indeed, I do,’ I answered. ‘Yes, I sit there thinking to myself that they denied me a place at Cambridge because of the colour of my skin when I actually passed the interview. Then, they denied me top jobs and put me on the reserve list when I had passed the interviews because of the colour of my skin. They denied me what I deserved, what I was owed. They have tried to keep me down. It is because of them that I do not have children and a family right now.’

‘All you can think of,’ said Alfonso sharply, ‘is your revenge. That is all there is with you.’

‘Why deny anger?’ I shrugged my shoulders. ‘As I said, the anger is getting worse and not better. And this anger is not merely for myself. Because that would be selfish. This anger is for the community. For the past, the present and the future. Besides which,’ I continued, ‘this anger has been forged over thousands of years for the oppressed. It is the anger of the whole people. No one can match this anger.’

‘This society that you accuse of racism and oppression,’ asked Alfonso, ‘how comes you have prospered in it?’

‘Because of my family that looked after me,’ I said. ‘Because I worked every hour under the sun doing work that is not on my level. With this work ethic and this energy, no one can keep me down. I am richer than all of them.’

‘How can you accuse them of being racist when all of your nearest outside of the family are from the dominant culture?’

‘Not everyone is a racist. There are those that give acceptance and even love. If a culture is racist, it does not mean that everyone follows the culture. Look at me. I don’t follow it.’

‘How do you know you are not a racist?’

‘Because, as you have just said, all of the nearest and dearest outside my family are from the dominant culture. Unlike the racists in this society, I don’t say one thing and then do another. I do as I say. I practise what I preach. Harmony. Integration across cultures. Inclusivity and diversity. While I respect and value my own background, I am more than willing to accept and befriend others, to be their lover.’

‘You criticise this culture.’

‘So what? I am British. I can criticise as I please. Who is going to stop me? The ones that can’t take my criticism are the racists, because they know that I have brown skin and they would silence me. You can’t silence the truth. This is a culture of cowardice, hate and lies, of mindless conformity and oppression and greed.’

‘Still you say it. Despite being hated for it.’

‘No one can stop me. Because it is the truth.’

‘There are consequences to speech.’

‘Consequence is of no consequence. I am not a yes man or a sycophant or a coward like many in this society. We do not have to live like this and it is not the right way to live. The real value of life is connection, diversity and inclusion. The real value of life is love. Not hate and lies and cowardice. The real value of life is to make friends with difference. To embrace difference with open arms. To learn from everyone. Openness, equality and respect.’

‘You have a narrow view of this society.’

‘As I have said before, look at the leaders of this culture. Are you satisfied with this? Are you satisfied with the garbage that they spout? Are you satisfied with how they burn the world with their greed, how they kill the innocent with impunity, how they coerce their people to follow them with corrupt taxes and corrupt lies? And then, you look at their bias and prejudice in work and even in love.’

‘What bias in work?’

‘You want statistics? One in four young people have reported that their ethnicity is a barrier to progression in their career. There are more ethnic minority workers in insecure jobs. About 12% of ethnic minority workers have been denied promotions based on their ethnicity. We are unfairly disciplined and seen with suspicion at work. Because of our foreign names, we are less likely to be invited to the interview in the first place. About 88% of employees believe racism exists in their workplaces, and three-quarters believe racism is a problem, suggesting little progress over the past few years.This list goes on and on.’

‘You agree.’

‘Yes.’

I passed over a small coconut chocolate sweet to Alfonso and we chewed these little treats together in silent companionship. There was always much to say. And very little time to say it. But we would say it.

the flattery of the echo

17.03.2026

S: Recently, someone used the exact phrase that I used to describe something in a private communication when they were making a more public announcement.

A: Out of all the private messages that she got, she used your words?

S: Yes, my praise must have pleased her.

A: So she echoed you?

S: It was the flattery of the echo.

A: Analysis?

S: It could be a number of things. First of all, I am a writer. She might have thought it was the phrase that was the most apt. Perhaps when she was going ahead to write something that was semi-public to the small group, she wanted to model herself on a writer.

A: Perhaps.

S: But you also have to remember the relationship. She knew that I would know that she had echoed my phrase. After all, I wrote it. She was communicating to me that she was echoing my phrase.

A: For what reason?

S: Mirroring is a form of sociability, so is echoing. She was establishing a community between me and herself in the semi-public realm of this small group as she wrote to everyone. A community based on a written message.

A: Any other speculations?

S: There is a suggestion of emotion. I talked about my emotions in this phrase, about how I enjoyed something and how I would remember it. And she herself must have mirrored my emotions, enjoying my praise and remembering it.

A: You are a striking man. Some people are impressed by you.

S: That is exactly the right word, ‘impress’. Because I stamped myself onto her. Change in the world is driven by our influence on others and I can shape those around me.

A: Enough of this ego. Let’s get on with life.

S: Yes. I have a big assignment due in for university. There is never any time for anything but study and work. And yet, life happens and I live life too. Genius demands.

being boundlessly busy

16.03.2026

A: What is it like being busy all of the time?

S: It’s been going on all of my life. It’s what I’m used to.

A: But how is it going?

S: There is never any time for anything. Yet everything somehow gets done.

A: It is all a massive investment of time, labour and love. Isn’t it all really draining?

S: Isn’t everything?

A: What makes it work work? What is the nitty and gritty of it?

S: My mother handles everything at home. I organise everything ruthlessly. I don’t dilly and dally, I just do things. I rush everything. I am super quick as a person. I do everything straight away when I get time, on my breaks and lunch breaks, walking to and fro from places, on the commute. Besides that, I have a remarkable memory, touch type really fast and, as I often say many times, I am a genius.

A: Why do you boast so much?

S: In a honour culture, boasting is tolerated. Because it is an honour culture.

A: These that read, none of them are not Punjabi. They hold it against you.

S: False modesty is hypocritical. I am objectively a genius based on my work. The magnus opus is still unpublished but it is in first draft form. In any case, this culture would dishonour me and treat me as nothing. This is not true. I am special. I am the kind of thinker that comes every few hundred years. It is just an objective fact. Even people around me recognise that I can just go into any field and know it all. I am the last generalist in a culture of specialists. My mind is more plastic than everyone else’s. That is another reason why I can cope with being busy at this level. So, to answer your question, the more they try to put me down, the more I congratulate myself for being myself. The more that they attack my identity and devalue it, the more value that I put into it.

A: Narcissistic defence.

S: The appreciation of real value. They can’t appreciate or reward real value. They are exploitative, prejudiced and, compared to me, they are all lazy and incapable. I am the best. Objective fact. And the other thing? They have never let me do anything. They have refused me all of the jobs that I wanted to do. So despite that, I am still doing all of these jobs on a voluntary basis or for free. It is spite that keeps me going, anger that keeps all of these plates spinning, the famous stubbornness of the Punjabi. It is the community that gives me strength and courage, skill and energy. The Mother Goddess Saraswati, Goddess of Learning, she has blessed her son in a world of ignorance, selfishness and hate. This genius that comes from the lower castes, who the whole world is against, despite them he has still achieved. That is why I am god. God accepts no limitation. I am the dream of India. The dream of The Mother. The Tiger.

tiredness

15.03.2026

S: I am tired.

A: You surprise me. You are always full of energy.

S: It is 23.41. I have been up since 6 am like I am most days, most good days when I can get up. In this day, I have been at work for eight hours. In the lunch times and breaks, I shopped at a charity bookshop and I went to have a chocolate cake at a cafe. After work, I hosted a charity event, a fundraising event. I encouraged, enthused and gave out prizes. Then I went to a pub with five of my friends. I’ve fitted in two phone calls with my girlfriend too. In the morning, I did light weights, push ups and stomach crunches and meditated. I also wrote and I arranged an interview with a gurdwara (Sikh Temple) for my journalism project to help the Dalits, the lower castes in Punjab.

A: If you keep on packing in stuff like that, you are going to get tired.

S: This life is too short. There is too much to do. There is the whole world to change for the better. They have asked me to be a hero. They expect. I have asked myself to be a hero. I expect. The work of a hero. For no reward.

A: Why work yourself to the limit for them? They would not do the same for you.

S: A hero works for others, not for himself. The king works for the kingdom. Not for himself.

A: You that see yourself as a hero and a king, they do not. They see you as a villain.

S: Whatever they see me as, when I look into the mirror I see someone that cares. That wants to change the world around him. That has not accepted defeat. Someone that will do his level best to perform for the people and The Mother that see him as their prayer. Someone that can build communities around himself.

A: And this feeling, this feeling of tiredness. Is it not saying to rest, to relax? To recharge?

S: What this feeling is saying is satisfaction. The satisfaction of tiredness. To make the world a better place. Having taken on a big challenge in fundraising and having achieved it with good results, much better than estimated or expected. The satisfaction of knowing that I can do whatever I set my sights on. I enjoy this tiredness. Honest work creates honest sleep. I have deserved this rest tonight.

the cheapness of the rich

15.03.2026

S: The rich are mean and cheap.

A: What makes you say this?

S: Every time that they have had a choice between the machine and the man, to exploit labour fully, they have chosen the machine. They do not want to feed families. They want labour at a minimal or zero cost. They are cheap and mean. Why did the windmills come in? Because they are cheap and mean. Why did the computers come in? Because they are cheap and mean. Why is AI coming in and taking over all professions? Because they are cheap and mean.

A: And?

S: They have no empathy with others. They do not want to share their resources with others. They want to keep all the money for themselves and keep themselves at the top of this fawning and sycophantic society of slaves that fawn over them. They do not care about the planet. They care about AI. They do not care about the families. They care about themselves. They would rather have everyone out of work and for AI to be taking all of the jobs.

A: If you hate them so much, why don’t you do something about it?

S: I have told you so many times before. You can not touch them. You can do nothing about it. Because this is a society of slaves. They would let anyone walk all over them. They have no backbone, no discipline and no idea of how to organise and do anything. Try to persuade them. They will do nothing. Unless you preach hate against those that they perceive as less than them.

A: Become a luddite. Destroy the machines.

S: That is what this age calls for. And yet, these cowards and non-men sit there, doing nothing. The world burns with climate change. What do they really do about it? They can do nothing. That is why they are non-men. The leaders that they choose have nothing in them. They can do nothing against the rich because they worship them. They want to be them.

the value of volunteering

14.03.2026

A: You volunteer a lot, don’t you?

S: Yes.

A: What exactly is it that you do?

S: Curation, Journalism, Research writing, Protecting the planet and nature, Inspiring the protection of the planet, Advocating to the government for the poor, Activism, Working with Human Resource Issues, Being a Newsletter Editor, Professional Photography, Fundraising, Events Organisation, Tour guiding, Explaining art, Teaching, Presenting…

A: Many hats. Many skills.

S: Everything that is needed and asked for, everything that is wanted. Yet, it impresses no one. Yet it brings in nothing for me personally.

A: Why do it then?

S: I’ve always wanted to be a good person. I’ve always wanted to build the community.

A: Don’t you think that you have done enough?

S: There is always more to do.

A: They would suck at the blood in your veins. They would keep you working and working.

S: People need help. I can help them.

A: What is the value of this volunteering?

S: Personal satisfaction. The right to look in the mirror. The use of the privilege that has been given to me through the lottery of life. The knowledge that I am a man. That I have used my gifts to benefit and improve this world. That I have touched countless lives and influenced for the better. The knowledge that I have not squandered my gifts.

A: In all this, there is no reward. They do not even care about your volunteering in interviews.

S: That is the worst thing about being a man and having honour, for serving the community. You get nothing out of it. That is the regret.

A: Why not keep the time for yourself?

S: There is a big difference between a man and a non-man. A man has a social conscience and integrity. He will work for the community. He has a big heart. A non-man has nothing and is nothing. You can’t ask me to become like these non-men. Because I am a man and I have a heart.

the new sound

11.03.2026

S: I have had my cheap wireless headphones for about eight years. I got them on my PhD when there was no money coming in so I didn’t get very good ones. All the plastic fell off. The cushioning fell off. But I didn’t get new ones because it is bad for the planet to buy products. And finally, after all that time, I got some new ones because they have been playing up.

A: What do you make of them?

S: They were half price so I just guessed that the expensive price would be a marker of their quality. And I was not wrong. They are the most powerful headphones that I have ever listened to. I have to keep the volume at about half on my smartphone to be able to bear the sound. The bass is ludicrous. It is like being in a club. They are amazing.

A: I’m glad that you’re pleased about your purchase.

S: Do you know what? The sound of Punjab is exactly like these new headphones.

A: In what way?

S: Punjabi music is known for its energetic and vibrant quality. It is known for its power. And these headphones are power.

A: What are they?

S: Skullcandy Evo Crusher headphones. Even the name – it means that the vibrations crush your senses. They are amazing. I will only ever buy these headphones from now on.

A: Are they paying you to say these things? What’s the commission?

S: Do you know one of the moments of supreme happiness in my life? My father bought me a Sony Walkman with a radio in it when I was a kid. I didn’t want anything else. I had never had anything so special. I had never heard something on headphones before. We had a shared stereo between me and my two brothers. I used to listen to the Walkman at night time in bed in the dark. These headphones remind me of that happiness. I am sorry that my happiness bothers you. You also don’t very much approve of my sadness or anger. Emotion bothers you.

A: I am happy you are happy. It is good to sing the praises of those things full of praise. Enjoy the music. Everyone deserves happiness. After all, what else do we look for in life? Now you have a new soundtrack to life. Everything will be fresh again, all your songs.

good grades

08.03.2026

A: How have you kept up motivation for four years of university study while you work seventy or more hours a week? How can you even be on for a Distinction?

S: Tiger is hunger. If Tiger was not hunger, he would not be The Tiger.

A: What is this hunger for learning?

S: The mind of The Tiger is the mind of a genius. The genius does not ask permission to be a genius. He just is. The Tiger does not need to work hard to be a genius, although this Tiger does work hard. Everything comes easily to a genius.

A: But hunger?

S: Stimulation. The ability to do the work and the thinking is sorely wanted. And there is another factor.

A: Which is?

S: In India, they would not let our people learn. They kept us down. By denying us an education. This hunger is for the people.

A: So you will take three different undergraduate degrees as well as your masters and your doctorate.

S: Do you know why I studied Art History at university level? Because Rishi Sunak told us not to do any degrees that he considered useless. I am culture. I am India. I am the eye of Punjab. I am the scholar in the war, the warrior. They cannot manacle this mind. I am freedom. So in protest at this government and its dismantling of the humanities, I did that degree out of anger and spite. I am the Revolutionary and I believe in the Revolution. We will change vision.

A: Your beliefs are ridiculous. No one agrees with anything that you say.

S: I do not need the ignorant and the idiotic to agree with anything that I say. This hunger for learning, no one can quell it. I have seen tomorrow because I am the past, the present and the future. I am The Tiger. It is the wisest that truly rule in this world. I am the leader of thought. I know my importance in the world of thought. I know my place. There is only one place for the genius: at the top. That is the hunger for the good grades which I am getting. The competition of thought. And I will see Punjab as the winner. The French have had their turn. The Germans have had their turn. Now it is Punjab’s turn. The dominant have had their turn on the podium. Now it is the turn for The Oppressed, the Dalits. Jai Maa Kaali! Inquilaab zindabaad! (Hail the Dark Mother! Long Live The Revolution!)

why do anything?

04.03.2026

A: Why do anything?

S: Why do you ask?

A: You are always saying that nothing that you do ever bears any fruit.

S: It’s true enough. You cannot prosper in a world of hostility and racism, of injustice and immorality. Unless you become one of them.

A: Come, answer the question. Why don’t you quit?

S: There is a type of person that will make things so unliveable that they would force you to quit. And they are not going to win. They will block everything and every ambition because they are evil. But the duty is to go on despite them. Because talent is one thing that will always show itself and show every enemy up.

A: That is not answering the question. Why don’t you quit?

S: That is what they want. I have answered it.

A: So you will not quit out of spite?

S: You know, this writing game that I am in, it has been going on throughout my whole life. And what have I got out of this writing game? Nobody cares that I am a doctor. Nobody cares about all of the work that I have published. Nobody is ever impressed, I never get any money out of these things. There is no network. There is little satisfaction. Yet I keep on writing.

A: Why?

S: Because, despite starvation and marginalisation, despite getting nothing out of it, I have the ability to keep on going. Out of spite. Out of stubborness. Out of genius. The genius creates. I am god. God accepts no limitation.

A: It seems perverse.

S: Me? Or them? Their perversity makes me perverse. Their stubborness makes me stubborn. Their spite makes me spiteful.

A: It seems like an unusual contest. You will keep putting up words. And they will keep ignoring the words. Nothing will change.

S: Why do you think this world is what it is? They cannot hear a different point of view or accept difference. They keep it at bay. That is what preserves their world. And I? I am difference. Genuine difference. A mind that comes every few hundred years or so. I believe in my value which they will not give me. I believe that I have the gift. And whatever they do, they are not going to take away that belief or that talent. Whatever they do, that belief is undying and eternal. Because I am The Tiger, the prayer of the People and The Mother.