26.10.2025
S: The No had horns of fiendish sharpness. The No cut into me.
A: Did she wound you?
S: Fatally. Yet somehow I survived.
A: How did you the fight the No?
S: How do you fight a No? You cannot fight a No. There is no reason for a No that is given. There is no rationality behind a No. When someone rejects you entirely, all of you, how can there be a fight?
A: You are saying that you did not fight? You, the warrior? You laid down your arms? Like a non-man?
S: I am not saying that. I am giving you the benefit of my experience.
A: I knew you would fight the No. How did you fight her?
S: For two years I argued against the No. The No was wrong. I fought for two years for a chance. Every night I fought against that No. There was nothing. All there was was the No. I was snared in the No. All I breathed was the No. In my feverish dreams of horror, all I felt was the No.
A: When you were faced with an insuperable problem, you still fought? Why?
S: Warrior destiny is the war. It is written in the stars. Unalterable. Incontestable. But this No, it was contestable. It was a contest. My Yes against the No. Life against death.
A: But yet, Yes lost. No won. Life lost. Death won.
S: No can never win. Do you know, this world has erected a Great No? It dwarfs the one of difference. But what else do we worship except the men that fought against the Great No? The religion of my father is Guru Ravidasa. From the low castes, he fought against the Great No of the higher castes. He fought for us, the people. He fought for the Revolution, may a thousand kisses rain down upon it! The man of brown skin fights against the Great No of those without a brown hide. It is the fight against the Great No that gives meaning in life. Remember the Song of God in the Gita:
“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.”
diary of a lone man 