freedom is always a question

05.10.2026

Freedom is always a question. Am I free? What is freedom? How can I be free?

Yet how many of us ask this question? The West likes to trumpet how it is ‘free’. That it has a ‘free’ market and that is it’s greatest strength. This is an empty boast. Our lives are locked into this capitalistic and exploitative financial structure. Every decision has to be made based on getting money in this economy. Conformity reigns. As Rousseau observed, we are born free but everywhere we look we are in chains. As Blake said, the mind-forged manacles permeate society.

How then, can one become free? How then can one become the Revolutionary?

Action is curtailed and controlled. Thought is curtailed and controlled. There is a system of order that dominates and oppresses. Where is the seed of resistance? Where is the spark of the fire?

Is it in criticism of all that there is? Is it in independent thought outside of the institutions? But then, how free are we when all we can do is to react against what is? There is no way out of what is. It is determinative of everything. But if we did not believe in criticism, if we did not believe in campaigning against exploitation, hate and injustice, if we accepted our loss of freedom, what would we become?

We would become those who not only tolerate but thrive in replicating this system, that live as slaves within this system and that only accept others that are slaves. Freedom consists in this: the assertion that I am not a slave. Perhaps the real question of freedom is ‘Am I a slave? Or am I a man?’

So, to be free, one must criticise. One must attempt to do things differently. In thought and action, one must appreciate and value difference from what is. There is another world, a world of freedom. Every religious figure and activist has tried to bring this other world of freedom to life. But then, what do the people do? They attempt to make this world of freedom into a world of oppression and tyranny, a world of the lack of freedom.

The woke generation, they attempt to force their views on others, just like the conformists who rail against the woke generation, those conformists who created their own unfreedom. They have created the cancel culture. It shows you that people seek out unfreedom, not freedom.

Every morning, every day, every night, the scholar in the war ponders on how unfree he is. And he ponders upon a world of freedom. Is it possible? Can we all be free? And is this freedom to be found in the dreams of India and the Independence movement? The answer to exploitation, racism and capitalism? What would a truly free man look like? Is he possible in this world?

the hunger for education

20.09.2026

Four thousands of years, they would not let my people learn. We were Untouchables, the lowest caste. They kept the learning for themselves so that they could oppress us. That is one of the reasons that we are known as The Oppressed, The Dalits.

Yet, we have always had the hunger to learn. It is in the Mahabharata, the Hindu epic. One of the cornerstones of Indian philosophy. There you had Eklavya. He would watch the princes of the upper castes being taught archery in secret. And he learnt in secret, surpassing the prowess of the princes. His reward? For his gift, his guru asked him for his thumb to destroy his talent in archery. The world of oppression manifest.

How is hunger for education created? The Eklavya story tells you. You get an individual from a community without learning that looks at the community that does have it. Eklavya the common man lusts after the education of a prince. And therefore he outdoes the princes. The Untouchable takes the learning from the Brahmin guru, the higher caste. Similarly, I, the ethnic minority working class man, I go after the education that has been given to the white middle classes in this country, subjects like English Literature and Art History that only they can afford. We work towards the privilege that they have been given and handed on a silver platter in our stations outside of the ivory tower of learning. But we are alone on this journey, outside of the community. We have to teach ourselves. We are not coached and mentored, supported.

So in my own hunger for education, the hunger of this Dalit and Untouchable that has five degrees, there is the hunger for education of the people. Not just myself, but the community for education and social mobility. Because I have been taught by my grandfather and by his hero Dr. Ambedkhar, that the way forward for our community is to ‘educate, agitate and organise’.

And where else does this hunger from the community come from? It comes from watching my grandfather, this highly intelligent man who had been the top student in his university and his life. How when he came to this country they would not reward or rate his intelligence so he worked in non professional jobs, jobs like building and being a night watchman. I watch the unfairness in the way that they have treated the men in our community.

To me also, they have denied the rewards of my intelligence and learning. I am also a top student everywhere that I have been. And yet what have I faced in my life? What my grandfather faced. Distrust, prejudice and discrimination.

And yet, the coldness and hostility of those with the prizes has never thwarted this hunger and this love of learning. I have taken what I have wanted. I am a published scholar. I am an author. I am a curator with displays in musuems. I am a published poet. I am a published journalist. I am a professional photographer that has been published in magazines. This hunger has led me to perform. And the hunger is still not over. The hostility of the world just invites more hunger. The hunger of The People. The hunger of The Oppressed.

the law as the woman usurper’s mind and desire in the wisdom of king solomon

18.09.2026

Two women give birth at the same time. One baby dies and one survives. The women fight over the remaining baby, saying each of them is the mother. King Solomon’s solution? That we cut the baby in half and give each half to each mother. The real mother will not allow this to happen while the false mother will. This is the supposed wisdom and legal acumen of Solomon.

I wrote about how this story in the Bible reveals the monstrosity of the law. Let’s have another look at that today.

Solomon as the King, as The Father, as The Law, what does he count on? He counts on the real mother being a real mother. Not wanting her son to die. However, he also counts on the false mother, the usurper woman, to want the son to die. To want the son to be cut in half.

It does not make sense. This is a woman who has just had a baby that died. The whole reason that she took the other woman’s baby is that she wants to have a real baby. So why would the false mother even choose to have half of a dead baby? In fact, Solomon’s supposed wisdom would only draw outrage from both mothers. It would not produce the truth.

King Solomon’s law and The Father’s Law assumes that the false, usurping mother is a being of terrible violence and injustice. The bringer of death. This is the misogyny at the heart of The Father’s Law in a patriarchy. This is how the law conceives of women. The devouring Mother.

Yet, bizarrely, The Father’s Law enacts the wish of violence and devouring of the false Mother. Solomon says that he will cut the baby in half. In fact, the law models itself on this false, devouring, usurping mother.

This is a case of the law’s projection. It uses the false devouring and usurping Mother as a screen which actually reflects back its own being in injustice, in violence and duress, in usurpation. What is being mirrored is the law’s reality. It is not the false mother that is unjust. It is the law itself. Why else would the law mirror the false usurping woman?

At the same time, the legal strategy attacks the real mother. She is subjected to the symbolic violence of the law that will devour her baby.

This is the reality of the patriarchal Judaeo-Christian law that has been inherited by the West. It is based in structural misogyny and deflection. It is against The Mother. It is aggression against The Mother. And yet, this is what is described as wisdom.

king solomon’s wisdom and how the law separates, divides and usurps

14.09.2026

I wrote about how this story in the Bible reveals the monstrosity of the law. Let’s have another look at that today.

The Judaeo-Christian law separates. From The Mother. While the case is ostensibly about overcoming the separation from the mother, and giving the mother back her child, does it not strike the reader as weird that the whole legal tactic and strategy relies on symbolically separating the mother from the child? After all, Solomon says to cut the baby in half so that the Mother will insist on being separated from her child. Why is this contradiction and paradox built into the tale, that in not separating the mother from the child, we are separating the mother from the child?

Precisely because the Father’s law, the law of King Solomon, is structural misogyny and calculated to be against The Mother. The law has a mother phobia, about which I have copiously written, being a worshipper of The Mother.

Again, the law divides the baby’s body through violence. One half is given to the lie: the lying mother. One half is given to the mother that will not accept it. That is, the law rewards the liar, it rewards the usurper, it denies the desire of the real Mother through its divisions and orderings of the body and of reality. Here, one may note, that Freud has on occasion referred to the baby of a mother as her phallus. And the phallus is the symbol of power.

Lastly, the law of the Father as usurper. What do the lying mother and the lying King have in common? That they are both liars and usurpers. The lying mother wants to take the place of the real mother. The lying king wants to take the place of the real mother as well, taking ownership of the baby’s body and dividing the spoils as he sees fit. The body is not his to give, why should he have any say in it?

This, like I said yesterday, this is the legal culture that the West has inherited. Unsound, lying, biased, misogyny, a corruption of patriarchal power. And this law presents itself as wisdom? It is this law that presents itself as the unveiling of the truth? It is this law that regulates relationships like those of mother and child? It is this law that we read stories of, watch films about? This law is nothing less than monstrosity.

solomon’s wisdom and the monstrosity of legal culture

13.09.2026

The monstrosity of Judaeo-Christian legal culture is displayed in this story. First, the law pits itself against the false mother. The false mother stands as deceit, usurpation, as women and their lying tongues. A King’s law stands against the mother. The Father’s law against The Mother. Remember, with his law, the Father rules over the women in this case. The law is an expression of his power over them. This case does not concern him. He has no personal interest in this case. Yet it is his word that counts. The law is an expression of patriarchal power and its ordering of the social universe and the world of women.

What about the fact that the King’s law favours the real mother? But even her, the King’s law hurts. Because the King says that he will cut her baby in half. In fact, the King inflicts the imaginary symbolic violence of the law on the baby. The law is violence: duress. It is not for any reason that Freud associates the King and his Law with castration. The law is violence, imaginary violence. Symbolic violence. A violence that is directed against the body that is subject to the King and his jurisdiction.

Again, we note that the imaginary violence of the law directed against the subjugated body is also a lie. It is a fiction. The law is a lie. Yet the madness persists. The lie or the fiction is instrumental in delivering justice. There is a meta level to this. The story of King Solomon’s judgement itself is probably a fiction that is espousing what the law and justice mean too. It is lie upon lie in this legal culture to build up this legal culture and its notions of the law, justice and legal acumen for the Father. Not only does the Father lie, but he expects The Mother to lie. She has to lie that the baby is not hers so she can save its life. The lies breed lies.

Yet in this legal culture, Solomon is wise. Because he is The Father. Because he rules over women and The Mother with his decisions. Because this law creates one Mother as the bad mother, as false woman with its misogyny. Because he breeds lies. And this lie? It is called justice. This is the legal culture that the West has inherited.

belief in study

08.09.2026

Coming from an Indian background, I had a sincere belief that education could change the world. Being educated could change the world. Coming from a Dalit or Untouchable, low caste background, knowing about Dr. Ambedkhar who was from our caste and how he had been the architect of the Indian constitution, I had a sincere belief that education could and did change the world.

Belief in study is a crucially important thing. You have to believe it matters. You have to believe that study will change the world. You have to believe that study will improve your chances in life.

Now, even though I know that none of my studies have done anything for me professionally or financially, because of the racism in this country, I still believe in study. Because that study has given me the ability to do all of the volunteering and charity work I have done as a teacher, curator, as a writer, as a journalist and as a tour guide. It is that study that has prepared me and allowed me to excel in soft power, in enhancing and contributing to the cultural, academic and educational life in London and in changing the world for Dalits in India and ethnic minorities in Great Britain.

The reason that I studied, to contribute to the community and to make the world better through education, that has been achieved. I just did not get anything out of it for myself: the money, the status, the family and children and love.

There is one other belief in study. The belief in yourself. That you can study. That you will achieve. That you will succeed. That you will get top grades. Where does this belief come from?

When I would come home from a test at school and get the best marks in the year, do you know what my grandfather would say to me? It wasn’t a congratulation. He would say that he expected me to get full marks on the exam and I hadn’t. This was the level of expectation. My primary school teachers? When I would finish all of the work in class, they would give me extra work to do. Reading comprehension exercises. They gave me prize after prize for my work. The kids in the lower classes told me that the teachers would present my work to them as a model to imitate. The same thing happened during my GCSEs. Everyone saw me as the model student. The one to aspire to. This is what they expected from me. My PhD supervisors? They told me that my project was important and original. My second book which is in first draft form, described as absolutely breathtaking, important and highly original and innovative by the four people that have read it, highly respected researchers and academics. I know that this book will change the world.

This belief has been built by everyone around me. I know the importance of my scholarship and of this mind that has been forged by my grandfather, the voice of the Indian Independence movement. It is this belief that has taken me through double the amount of A Levels of most people, six, and through five degrees, with First Class Honours in English Literature and a Distinction in Art History, as well as graduation in the top 10% of a Law degree at the elite university LSE. A PhD on top of that. Achievement after achievement. Success upon success. Results delivered every time.

It is this belief that sustained me working seventy hour weeks in work and volunteering and then studying for an Art History degree at the Open University on top of it. It is this belief now that has told me that I can do a Master’s in Art History with the Open University and I am expecting myself to get a Distinction again.

Because, however racist this world is, however professionally unrewarding it has been to amass all of this education, I still believe that education can change the world. That I can educate myself and change the world. Because Suneel is not Suneel. Suneel is the community of the Oppressed, the Dalits. Suneel is the dream of the Indian Independence, freedom and dignity that my grandfather was raised upon. Suneel is the hero that my grandfather dreamed of. We educate ourselves and others for someone. The one that prayed for us to come into the world.

the front and the face of the punjabis

30.08.2026

For an outsider, Punjabis are just farmers. The poor. One thing is not apparent. That Punjab is the warrior culture. We are known as warriors.

But what is it that makes us warriors? What is that special quality that sets us apart?

I believe everything revolves around the concepts of the front and the face of the Punjabis. These are terms that are used in fighting. You have a front in fighting, a public face. You have face in fighting, which is courage and fight.

This front or this face is based on honour. We are not just the warrior society, we are also the honour society. The most honourable thing is to be a warrior. We worship the gurus who were warriors. That fought for us against invaders, against oppression, against injustice. Sikhism has been forged in this fight. We are forged in the claims of honour.

What does front mean? What does face mean? We won’t let anyone change our traditions. We won’t let anyone touch us or our rights. When the government wanted to take the rights away from our farmers, we protested for one year and four months. The protest of the farmers was treated like a war. The protestors were hailed as heroes.

Front or face means that we will not bend. We will not submit. It doesn’t matter how powerful anyone else is. We will always fight. It is our honour to fight. And to die fighting.

The difference between the warrior and the coward is front or face. The coward does not have front or face. The coward has nothing. Because in our culture, the coward is a non-man. The coward does not have it in them to fight. They have no substance, values, morality or anything.

Our front is our morals. Our face is our morals. In a film that I watched, it was said that the world is won not through arrogance, but through morals. Front or face is not arrogance. It is self belief and confidence. It is knowing that we are warriors and it is our duty to fight. We know that we are men. We are called Singh, which means Tiger. The beast that is known for its fight. We are the community of Tigers.

Where does front come from? It does not come from the patriarchy. It comes from the matriarchy. From the mother. In the film Batwara 1947, Sunny Deol, my favourite actor, his fight and resistance against hate and oppresion comes from defending the mother from exclusion and injustice. And the mother? She is the one with the front and the face. She will not leave her family home. She is unyielding and unbending. She will not listen to anyone that tries to take her away from her home, whether this is India or Pakistan. She is the one that is substance, value, morals and honour. In Punjab, our mother is our honour. That is where front or face comes from. That is where the warrior comes from. The front or the face evolves from The Mother.

There is a saying in India when you call someone out for a fight. You say to them, ‘If you have drank your mother’s milk, come’. Because power, front and face, all of these come from The Mother.

love and the reasons not to die

17.08.2026

It is with sadness that we read of the death of Jason Arday. Such a senseless death from a media witchunt, whatever the reality of the claims of plagiarism. One understands suicide. But one is against it.

Camus wrote that there was only one philosophical question. Whether or not one should live. Whether or not one should commit suicide. Camus said that to kill oneself is to accept and become defeated by the meaninglessness of life. Whereas one should learn to accept that life is meaningless but to make meaning from it. To persist despite everything.

The Indian answer to whether life is worth living comes in many forms. But what is emphasised is love and duty. Whatever thoughts come, dark thoughts, there is always the mother that gave birth to us that would be devastated by our loss. There is the duty that we owe to our parents and family to look after them.

This idea of love and duty is thousands of years old. In the epic, The Mahabharata, the character Bhisma can choose the time of his own death. The reason he does not die is because of love and duty. He had to preserve the dynasty, the kingdom and teach and educate those that he loved and cared for. The children and the future.

Bhishma’s story is all about triumphing over death and suicide. His mother came from heaven and killed all of her babies except for Bhisma to liberate them from the suffering in the world. The reason he survives against his own will and his mother’s will is because of love, that his father the king wished him to live (and for the dynasty). He himself wants to die to escape the world and its pain but does not.

Then, Bhisma was a warrior. We come from the warrior culture. It is regarded as cowardice to kill oneself. And also shameful. The family would have to live in dishonour afterwards and one’s name would be tarnished. One has to live to fight. Life is a war. The duty is to live.

Bhisma’s story unravels another strand of the philosophy and duty to live. The thoughts of suicide come when one is all alone. Suicide happens when one is alone. However, Bhisma exemplifies that we are never alone. He is wrapped up in the web of others. His duty is to the dynasty, the kingdom and the people. He does not think of himself as a lone man. Bhisma wanted to die. He did not because of human relationships and what the Buddhists would call attachment.

One can add to this that Bhisma waits for the right ending, the auspicious time to die. He doesn’t let failure create the ending. Jason Arday let failure create the ending. The idea that everything is finished. One cannot accept the bad ending. One has to look for the right ending, keep on picking oneself up after failure.

In Indian philosophy, to fight against death, one takes up the warrior mantle of Bhisma. Even when one dreams of death, one forces oneself to live. The dream of suicide? When one is all alone, when one is truly free. And the answer to this dream? To remember that we are attached to others. One is bound by others. One has duties. One has to create the right ending. Because of love.

monsters of the jurassic deep or heroism does not take a holiday

26.07.2026

The day was ending. Quickly, quickly, I was writing a list of things I had done today for A. It had been a day of art, nature, relationships, politics, literature, scholarship and social duty.

Reading news.
Shaving.
Phoning friends and family.
Contacting professional acquaintances.
Crossword, Scrabble and Jigsaw puzzle online.
Breakfast with parents.
Languages learning. Short stories and news in Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Spanish, French and German.
Reading psychology articles.
Messaging friends and sharing writing with them.
Reading history.
Listening to Hindi music.
Natural History Museum exhibition, ‘Jurassic Oceans: Monsters of the Deep’.
Window shopping in the Natural History Museum shop.
Natural History Museum garden visit. Took a photo of a family there for them.
Chinese lunch at Chopstix.
Buying books at the bookshop in South Kensington: – Art Deco – 100 years of Fashion – Rare Plants by Kew Gardens – The Language of Trees – History of Illustration – The Great Tree Story
Ice cream in Macdonald’s.
Sitting in St Martin in the Fields.
Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller ‘Landscapes’ exhibition at the National Gallery.
Watching the Palestinian protest in Trafalgar Square.
Shopping: buying sunglasses on a 70% sale.
Embankment Gardens visit.
Meet up.
Reading Skandar and the Phantom Rider.
Breaking up a fight where two young men were beating up a lone youngster.
Dinner at home – Chicken Biryani.
Writing.
Sketching.

would ask me about breaking up the fight. I had just got off the bus for home. Two lads were beating up a third lad. They started just as I had crossed the road from them. I was carrying a heavy bag of books on top of another bag I was carrying. I was rushing for home because I was very hungry. It was dark. I couldn’t see much, especially as I was not wearing my glasses. I was tempted not to get involved. It was dangerous. But I would not think of myself as a man or a Punjabi if I did not get involved. I shouted at the top of my voice, an order. ‘Stop what you’re doing or I will call the police! Stop right now!’ They looked at me and they stopped what they were doing straight away and walked off. I looked over to make sure that the kid that was bullied was okay. He was. He was grabbing his stuff that had fallen to the floor. Someone else would not have helped. A woman was there on the other side of the road where they were a few metres in front, just watching and not doing anything. But I was not a woman. I was a man. And I was not any man. I was The Tiger. I am the bravest. I am the warrior. Sometimes, people tell me that god sent me to help them. Just in time. It is not true. I myself am god on this earth. My name is the name of god. It is the duty of the strong to protect the weak. It is the duty of god to protect the People, the Oppressed. Thanks or no thanks.

the racist is a pangloss

03.06.2026

S: Voltaire wrote this novel, Candide. There was this figure there, Pangloss. A satirical figure that would proclaim, however horrible things are, that everything was great. That this was the best of all possible worlds.

A: That was then. What’s the relevance of that to the present moment?

S: Because the racist is a Pangloss.

A: How so?

S: The racist believes that the oppressed do not suffer from the scourge of racism. On the contrary, the racist believes that the oppressed have too good a time in this country. The racist believes that this country has given something more than a warm welcome here. That the oppressed are living it up, living a life of luxury over here. Furthermore, despite the widespread discrimination against ethnic minorities, the racist believes that they have a meritocracy in this country and that everyone is fairly rewarded for their skill and talent. That racism is over. That it doesn’t infect all things and relationships.

A: You see the Pangloss attitude as ideology?

S: I see it as absolute denial, just as Voltaire saw Pangloss as a denier of the realities. For the Pangloss, nothing has to do with racism. If you are excluded, it is not racism, it is you. If you are denied progression, it is you, it is not racism. If you are denied opportunities, it is not racism, it is you. It is you that is the problem, not racism.

A: And what do you think?

S: I know how the racist is going to act. Because I have experienced it. There is always an excuse not to give you an opportunity. There is always some excuse to exclude you. They will pick on things like you don’t drink to exclude you from the pub. And they will always go to the pub in the first place, knowing that many of us do not drink. Exclusion is built into their whole culture. For themselves, they make every excuse to include themselves. When someone is not as qualified, they will get the job. When someone has no experience, they will change the format of the interview to make them get the job, taking out any assessment of experience. But for you? Even if your job slightly differs from the job specification, they will pretend that you don’t have the experience and that you are not specialised enough. If you are qualified, they will say that you are overqualified or that your qualifications are not specialised enough. They are absolutely corrupt in preserving opportunities for themselves and think we are too stupid to see it. Let’s not talk about relationships. It is not worth commenting upon the stupidity and bias.

A: So to destroy the racist, you would have to destroy Pangloss.

S: As Voltaire realised, you cannot destroy Pangloss. This culture is made up of the Pangloss. It is the culture of the Pangloss. And for the revolutionary? Pangloss is the one that you cannot be.