being someone

13.06.2026

A: Why is it that someone wants to become something? Someone? Why do they have to seek out an aim?

S: Yes, it is curious. Life is aimless. Yet they must aim at something.

A: What about you? Why do you seek a role in life?

S: I have been brought up to be The Tiger. I am merely fulfilling my destiny. The people are oppressed. The Mother has been dishonoured. They wanted a champion. They made one.

A: So you just follow the script?

S: Yes.

A: Why not write your own script?

S: I do too. They want the Revolution. They want the Revolutionary. But they did not expect him to be a writer.

A: Let us not drift too much off the topic. Why does this aim orchestrate your life? Why have this aim?

S: Because virtue and honour both call for this aim. Because talent has to be directed. It has to have a way to find itself in the world.

A: You believe that you are talented as a warrior, as a leader?

S: Those that are the strongest have to look after those that are the weak. Those that are the best have to look after the others. Those that are the most intelligent have to look after those whose minds and hearts cannot look after things themselves.

A: So you believe that you are the most fit and the most able? Of course you do. You are ego. But can a human not exist without any aim?

S: We have seen the aimless. They coast around. They choose what is easiest. They have no discernment as to what is valuable for themselves or for society.

A: So those that choose a destiny like you are the ones who know what is valuable?

S: The question is why some have ambition and some do not. I have had the expectation to become The Tiger, to become a god. And therefore I am those things. I act and think according to that expectation. And then, there is the hunger, the hunger of The Tiger. The dream I saw in the eyes of my grandfather and mother. To be the man. This is my story. The story of the hero. It is not greed that motivates. It is not lust that motivates. It is duty. To right the wrong. To vanquish the evils of this world.

A: Plus the fact that you think that you are the best.

S: The thought that one is the best has to be proven by action and success. The proof is in the pudding. And hence, the pudding must be made. That is the philosophy of the one that has an aim in life, that has meaning in this life.

the shamelessness of truth, the shamelessness of racism and unlikeability

02.06.2026

S: Truth is absolutely shameless.

A: How?

S: However much truth costs, its expression must never be arrested. Truth can never be ashamed whatever the consequences and how they attempt to silence it. This world, it wants to listen to sycophancy and hate. It wants to listen to ignorance and prejudice. It wants its own way. I say fuck no. What is so good about your way? What about our way? Fuck your lip service about inclusion and diversity when you are all narrow minded and arrogant and completely non inclusive. Fuck your so-called ‘tolerance’ which really shows what you think of us and the lack of respect you give anyone that is in any way different. In short, fuck you. We do not agree with you. We do not sympathise with you. We do not want to be like you. We do not want to fit in with you. It is you that are wrong. We criticise. We denounce. And we aim to be as different from you as we can.

A: And even when truth is controversial?

S: Yes. When this world is one of sexual repression. When this world denies the reality of the body and desire. When this world is one of addicts and those who shape their whole culture around drugs such as alcohol. When this world is full of philistines and sickening conformity. When this world is full of poor judgement and unfairness and ignorance. Yes, we will say the controversial truths. What the fuck can anyone do about it? No one can argue against the truth. They can try, with their lies. But they can’t demolish the truth. It is the truth alone that is triumphant. And what if they hate us for saying so? Unlikeability in this culture is a badge of honour. Because we are unlikeable because we are not racists and don’t agree to their racism. We are not ignorant and do not agree to their ignorance. We are diverse, that is why we are unlikeable. We have our own minds. We have our own thoughts. We do not conform to them. And if that is unlikeable, so fucking what? So fucking what if it costs you something to be unlikeable? It is the unlikeable people that are the shapers and movers of culture. Not them. They are just pricks.

A: But have you not said that racism is also shameless?

S: It is. Absolutely. These people are not ashamed of their racism. They are not ashamed of their unfair assessments and bigotry. They are not ashamed of their superiority complex. It is obvious to see in who they choose amongst themselves and their leaders. In their policies and in their thinking and their laws.

A: Be true and be unlikeable then. They don’t like anyone to call out what they are doing.

S: Yet, it is the truth.

A: They accuse you of being pig-headed and never blaming yourself.

S: What is it that they are doing? Exactly the same thing. And I am right. It is them that are wrong. They just have more power than me through their racism. But I don’t want power that comes from racism, the power to say that what is wrong is right. I want the power of the truth, to say what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. And therefore, I will remain unlikeable, hated and not succeed to the power that they have. Because their power is oppression and I do not want to oppress.

competing emphases on power

30.05.2026

S: As a generalisation, I think you can say that the oppressor’s society does not affirm or emphasise its power. You see, its power is unholy. It is unjust. Moreover, this power is accepted by the degraded culture of the oppressor. However, those in the minority camp, they must affirm their power so that none consider them powerless. Indeed, even the oppressor affirms the power of the minority. You hear them saying that the minorities are accruing too much power. Their power is always a threat. Of course, the real threat is the power of the oppressors.

A: I suppose another reason that the oppressors choose not to affirm their power is because it is more effective when it is undisclosed, for the reasons that you have suggested. Because it is shameful.

S: Do you know why they are so afraid of the minorities taking power for themselves? Because they know that the minorities are just. It is the oppressor that has no law, despite claiming that they are ruled and ruling through law and order. All the oppressor has is coercion, wickedness, lies and deceit.

A: You as a minority do affirm your power.

S: Precisely. And thus, I am hated. Although I am the most powerful. As I have said before, I am like Frankenstein. I am powerful because I am fearless. And they? They are full of fear. And therefore, they are powerless.

A: They could savage you badly. Rob everything of you.

S: It does not make them any less of a coward. Sheep are hunting in a flock. The Tiger, he stands alone. He is the last surviving man and he never accepts defeat. Death before dishonour. Extinction before cowardice.

A: You that have to affirm power then, is that not then the mark of powerlessness?

S: See if anyone can compete with me fairly on any level. They cannot.

A: In popularity they compete with you and beat you.

S: That is because I have brown skin. There is no other reason. And is that a fair reason? When we talk about merit, I am the most powerful. Because I am the best. I affirm power because I am power. I am energetic because I am energy. I am the sun. There is no doubt of it. I am god upon earth.

the significance of genius

26.05.2026

A: You are always boasting that you are a genius. You are also always saying that others are not on your intellectual level. Do you believe that you are better than other people because you are a genius?

S: Yes. Because I worked hard to become a genius. I am on my fifth degree. I spent my PhD years all by myself all day for several years. Why shouldn’t I boast about being the best? Why shouldn’t I think I am better than others? I sincerely believe that a mind like mine only comes around once every few hundred years.

A: And what is this genius in? Criticism. All you do is criticise.

S: And I am the genius at it. And besides the criticism, there is the explanation, the secret truths that make up the self in a world of imperialism, hate and oppression. What would happen if I didn’t say that I was a genius? They would think themselves better than me because they did not come from the working class. They would think themselves better than me because I am Indian. They would think themselves better than me because I come from the Untouchables, the Dalits. Therefore, I say that I am better than them. Because they judge me on how I was born. But I judge people on what they have achieved. And I have achieved the most. What have they achieved in comparison to me? I know the secrets of this world that only I can see and understand.

A: What about humility?

S: Why should a genius have humility? I am exceptional, special, whatever you want to say about it. I know my own importance in thought and in history.

A: People hate that you think you are better than them.

S: They should know how they inspire hate from us, from the fact that they think they are better than us.

A: Why can you not say that you are equal to them?

S: Because I believe in the rule of reason and of the intellect. I believe that society is best run by those that think the best, that are the most intelligent. I believe that because I am the genius, it is I that should rule. And them? They think that the ones that should rule are the rich and the powerful. That is what stupidity gets you. That’s why I am better than them in every way.

who has the right over this body

19.05.2026

S: Have you ever wondered who owned this body?

A: Surely you own your own body? But, then, is it not a false question? Can you sell your body?

S: Many do sell their bodies. But the question then becomes, does the buyer own your body?

A: These are sophistries.

S: With practical results. But to return to the question. Who owns this body?

A: I persist in saying that I own my own body.

S: Untrue. There are many claimants. First, there is the mother, who gives birth to the body. She invests much into our bodies. Therefore, she has a claim.

A: So, as usual, we are talking about the implicit rather than the explicit. We are talking about unspoken claims rather than the spoken.

S: Yes, why not? There are many that look only at the partial truth. Why not talk to one that talks about the total truth for a change?

A: Go on then.

S: Not only the mother, but also the baby. The baby also owns the body of his mother. It is where he gets food and comfort, delight and language, dance and music. It is where he is connected.

A: Any more? Perhaps everyone owns the body.

S: So now you see where I am going with this. Yes, the lover also has a claim to the body. A not undisputed claim, but a partial claim nonetheless. Because the body is the aim of the lover, if this lover has red blood within him. There are more. I come from the warrior culture. Therefore, Punjab owns this body. This body is for Punjab and the earth of Punjab. When they ask for war, they ask for the gift of the body.

A: I have told you many times that you are not a warrior.

S: And I have proved through action and thought that I am. I have fought tirelessly for the honour of The Mother. I know that I am a hero.

A: To add to the list?

S: The community owns the body. The mother owns the body. The child owns the body. The family owns the body. The lover owns the body. Also, as you said yourself, the self owns the body.

A: Theories contrary to the feminists, the Marxists and the whole tribe of scholars.

S: What do they know? Do they even have bodies? They think of themselves as minds – and they are corrupt minds. Selfish. Thinking in terms of selfishness and discrete categories in an interrelated world.

A: And you are not selfish?

S: I am the king. And the king lives for others. Not for himself. That is the difference in the philosophical orientation. This body is not just for the self, it is for others. And that is why death is impossible and there is the duty to live and to prosper. For others. Not just the body is given as a gift, but also the mind. A gift given to justice.

there is always someone watching

16.05.2026

S: Do you know the secret of this life? There is always someone watching.

A: What do you mean? Of course there isn’t.

S: Forget about social media and the surveillance that these status conscious kids put onto each other. Forget about the social pressure they put on fashion and slang and cars and toys and so on. Even if you avoid all of that stuff, there is always someone watching. In the old days, it used to be the parents but also the aunties. They would be spying on the kids, nosing around and gossiping. Do you think that has disappeared? There will be someone there, a friend, family, an acquaintance, a work colleague, whatever it is. They will be spying on you. They’ll be trying to work out what is going on in your life, talking about you behind your back, trying to keep tabs on you.

A: If that were the case, why would that be the case? Why are they breaking a sweat on other people?

S: Idle curiosity for the weak-minded. And that is why I don’t mind writing about my thoughts. Because let’s let these spies have it. Let them have the honest opinion instead of the fake lip service they have and their not so subtle strategies of dog whistle racism as well as every other ism in the book that they are guilty of because they are oppressors and bullies.

A: No one is watching you.

S: That’s where you are wrong. There is a whole army watching me. Waiting for a false step. Waiting to drink my blood. But let them watch. And let them envy my life. No matter how much they tried to keep me down, I am up there. I am a genius. They will study me, my art, my writing, my thoughts and my life. And however much they study me, they will never understand. Because to understand the gifted, you have to be gifted yourself.

A: So this is why you are always performing and bragging. You believe that everyone else is watching you.

S: The audience want to stare at a hero. And who else is the hero but I?

A: They stare also at the villain. How do you know that you are not one?

S: It is time that decides heroism or villainy. And this is my time. The time of The Tiger.

fake friends and demob happiness

06.05.2026

S: You know, Alfonso, you are a real friend. You are always reliable. There are no wires crossed with you. It is always comfortable talking to you.

A: Is this a buttering up?

S: Not at all. I am comparing you to fake friends. A fake friend is not dependable. There are always wires crossed with a fake friend. And, eventually if not at first, it is uncomfortable talking to a fake friend.

A: Don’t let these fake friends bother you. They don’t care about you. Don’t care about them either.

S: Because I don’t lie, I don’t expect others to lie to me. To pretend that they are friends. I just can’t believe what users these fake friends are. You help them. You give them presents. You look after them and listen to their troubles. And in the end? They betray you.

A: They are not worth your spit. I don’t know why you worry so much about their betrayals and the fact that they are users. You have seen what they are like. Why be upset about them after that? They are not worth it. You are too good for them.

S: A big heart hurts big time.

A: Harbour your emotions and your investment for those that are worthy of it. You have been told by people that love you that you love too freely. You accept friendship too freely. Learn that they have to prove themselves. You cannot trust others.

S: So you yourself are telling me that you cannot trust other people?

A: Trust is earned. Sadly you have seen what this society produces. There are not worthy and honourable people now.

S: Well let us forget these fake friends the same way that they have forgotten us.

A: Tell me about your day.

S: I went to visit the V and A East. I did the upper ground floor. I went to the gym and pushed some heavy weights and did running on the treadmill, so fast that I went dizzy at the end of it. I shopped at M & S and bought some beef udon noodles for lunch as well as some reduced price Cadbury’s Creme eggs at Tesco’s and reduced price chicken and sweetcorn sandwiches to take around with me tomorrow. I finished the first draft of my dissertation for my Art History degree. So I will take a day off tomorrow before I revise it. I went to the park and smelled the scent of the flowers, watched the work of the bees at the flowers, communicated with nature and admired the flight of the birds. Dinner was chicken biryani, one of my favourite dishes that my mother makes.

A: A good day, forget about the troubles. Live life. It is fuller than theirs.

the nightmare that woke me up

03.05.2026

S: A nightmare woke me up this morning.

A: Really? What happened?

S: When I say woke me up, the nightmare squeezed me into the few seconds before the alarm went off.

A: Come, tell the tale.

S: I was working as the manager of a party. The setting was a big supermarket. Before the party people had arrived, I had to get rid of a big white machine. I was taking it to the charging point, carrying it by myself. I suddenly got called and had to drop it off in one of the shopping aisles before I could take it to the charging point. The first party person had arrived, the organiser. She wanted something in addition to what she had been promised when I tried to give her a warm reception and seemed sulky. She wanted the seating area upstairs which was empty, part of the cafe. It was not part of the contract and had not been arranged. I walked inside past the empty chairs and found myself locked outside. I tried to get back in through the door but the whole of the inside was moving upwards. The door would have jammed the movement as it opened inside and would have been stuck on the frame. I closed it just in time. I waited and then opened it again. Inside, they were shooting an astronaut film and the room was full of astronauts. I rushed past them. I would get into trouble, they would find out that I had disturbed the film. The alarm went off. I woke up from the nightmare.

A: A curious sequence of happenings.

S: Very understandable though. The nightmare is about money. It is based on several of my jobs where I manage events at various venues. But tellingly, this is in a supermarket, where the cultural industries I work in have been transformed into exploitative business and not charity. Some spaces have filming for money. Money is taking over my career when it should be about arts and culture.

A: You are having a nightmare about the commercialisation of arts and culture?

S: Precisely. And not just about the charities I work for. Also about writing. Because the astronauts are there because one of my friends is reading a book about astronauts and I read about the author’s prior book which was self-published and made lots of money too, literature as business. When I, of course, self-publish. The dream is about how my self-publishing is an interruption of work and the whole money making ethos. I am the outsider trying to get in, disrupting everything, the unwanted.

A: What about the demanding customer?

S: The philistine public that will never be pleased. The origin of the nightmare.

the money monsters

02.05.2026

S: I read with disgust that London’s Whitechapel Gallery hired an Economist in Residence.

A: What’s so bad about that?

S: She thinks that she can tell us what the value of art and culture is, that is the most disgusting thing. All of us that get into arts and culture are trying to escape from these money monsters with their bullshit ideas of value. And this London institution is hiring precisely that kind of individual to talk about what’s important and significant about art and culture. For us to be represented by these jokers. What the fuck does she know about it? Does she have any training in art and culture? This society is a joke. The people that are least able to do anything are the ones that they employ and listen to.

A: Come come now. I’m sure she’s interested in art and culture.

S: Then she wouldn’t demean it by being there to appraise its value as an economist. And pander to this bullshit fascist and idiotic government and this audience of philistines.

A: I’m sure there’s more here.

S: This society can only listen to a fake. When it comes to people that care for art and culture, live for art and culture, produce art and culture, then they cannot listen. They force us into marginalisation. They do not value our interpretations or our ideas. Because they want to keep on doing the same stupid thing over and over again. And what is the most stupid thing? Money. That’s all that comes into their rotten heads. Everything is about money. Make everything about money. They have a monomania. Their language is about money. Their ideas are about money. And these are the people that you want in the museum representing what the museum is about? These are the people that you want in art, representing what art is about? Do you wonder why I am angry?

A: Relax. There’s nothing you can do about it.

S: There is something that you can do about it. There’s always something. Do you know, when Michael Jackson wanted to shoot the video ‘They Don’t Care About Us’, which is about protesting racism and how the government mistreats people, about showing reality, the Brazilian government banned him from shooting it. So he went to the Mafia. The Mafia looked after him. They took him to the favela. They made the video happen. The disenfranchised supported the disenfranchised. I know that there are more of us.

A: You are not Michael Jackson.

S: I believe anyone with conviction, strength and discipline can change this world. Just like Jesus stood for something against Mammon, so can I. I can stand for a world of art and culture that does not rely on money. I am living proof of it. I have my own publishers. I have my own books. I have my own blog. I have my own photography and art accounts. All done without requiring money.

A: You do not have fame.

S: I have something better than the value that these cretins accord to those that apologise for the injustice and racism of this culture. I have my own self-respect and I have love for my community, the community of Tigers. That love is evident in everything that I produce. I don’t have to show why I value the community in terms of money. My love is a love that does not cost money. My love that I express? It does not cost money. And that is why I am the genuine article. That is why I am the poet, the artist, the photographer, the writer, the scholar. The genius. I am above money.

the bravery of the writer, the polymath and the anarchist

30.04.2026

A: Do you not think it is foolish to write in this day and age, to be a thinker, to be a speaker? They would gnash at you and claw your throat for expressing an opinion.

S: The mark of the writer is that he is brave. Braver than most. He expresses what he thinks with no apology. He does express an opinion. And not only the opinion, but also himself.

A: And you count yourself as brave?

S: As the bravest. Because I say exactly what I think. I am published and I am damned by them.

A: You are always boasting about how brave you are.

S: The only thing that stays the steel is compassion.

A: How brave are you?

S: It is brave to be a writer. To have a voice. To stand up against everyone. To be different. It is brave to be a polymath. To go into whatever field seems tempting and to become an expert in it. To have the bravery of the self to be able to bend this mind to anything and everything. To do degree after degree, starting from scratch every time for the long haul and to plan to do degrees after that in the future. To be a generalist in a world that insists on blind tunnel vision and specialisation. It is brave to be an anarchist. To believe in the self when no one would have you believe in the self. To go up against the biggest bully, threat and terrorist in the world which is the state. To go up against the slaves to the state and their bullshit. To go up against this world in every way. This mind is brave. This body is brave too. Everything about me is brave. Because I am the hero. I am the god. I am The Tiger.

A: Is not bravery foolish?

S: It is only foolish to be a coward. Because a coward lacks the wisdom of bravery. The truly brave, they have thought about what it is to be a coward. They have fully gauged the contempt of cowardice, its limitations. The brave are free. The coward is a slave. The coward cannot become a writer. Because he is scared to express himself and cares too much what others think, others that can do fuck all except for judge, and that incorrectly too. The coward cannot become a polymath. The coward lacks wits. The coward cannot dare different fields. The coward cannot be an anarchist. Because a slave cannot become the most powerful. The slave cannot go against the bully that is the state. They fear and therefore they obey and lick boots.

A: Boast after boast.

S: All justified my good boy. Everyone in this world searches for freedom. And I? I am free. The free are brave.