10.01.2025

S: You can’t make things happen by yourself. That’s the reality.

A: Agreed.

S: It’s only the ideology of the west that you can do it all alone. Anything you want, you need at least one other person to give you an opportunity.

A:  Where is this going?

S: They won’t. They just won’t give you an opportunity. Instead, they would rather stand in your way and block you.

A: That is people.

S: What it makes me think of is the fake friend. They were jealous of me. They criticised me and my achievements. While pretending that they were my friend. All they want to do is to pull you down. That is their nature. They can’t let talent rise because it would embarrass them.

A: Where will this complaint get you?

S: The biggest lie this culture tells is that it is a meritocracy. That is the heart of their racism and prejudice, the heart of their mediocrity. If I can’t change this bullshit reality of theirs, at least I can point it out. If they don’t like it, tough shit. I have to swallow their bullshit. They can swallow the truth about it.

09.01.2026

S: The lover’s eyes ask what I am.

A: Lovers lie about forever and whatever. Is there any forever any more?

S: Not necessarily. It is a new age.

A: How can such eyes ask and answer?

S: Love is the quest and the solution.

A: A game of the eyes? A language of vision?

S: The lover favours action. The eyes act. They see. The language of the eyes is the philosophy of the love of India.

A: You play the game of the eyes. Are you winning?

S: There is another game of the eyes. The enemy’s eyes. The enemy does not lock eyes. They are a coward. They cannot meet the eyes of the brave. The eyes of The Tiger.

A: They do not need to. They have an army of non-men to do their bidding with their coward’s toys.

S: Now is the time of the Revolution. It is time to take the enemy’s eyes and rid the world of their lecherous and louche gaze. I have looked into the enemy’s eyes and I have seen the ruination of the world.

A: You would give your army the eyes of The Tiger? Tiger would rip and rend everything that there is. What is the difference between you and the enemy?

S: That I fight on the right side, The Mother’s side. And She has decided that Shiva and Kali are to dance. Sin has outweighed goodness, the balance is lost. Those that have been raised as heroes and gods are who those look to that are lost. It is time to prove the belief.

05.01.2026

S: So, it is happening. That motherfucker Trump is imposing his bullshit on the countries around him.

A: Analysis?

S: The weak follow the clown. The strong follow The Tiger.

A: You think they will stand for his aggression?

S: The oppressor has many friends.

A: And The Tiger?

S: The Tiger stands alone. He has one. The one that cares for him. This world chooses evil and not goodness. He is the right colour, the right sex and the right wealth. And that is enough for these fucking slaves.

A: I will not ask you for the solution. They will not countenance it.

S: If there was one that I could follow to the death, I would be blessed. Instead, I follow the way of The Tiger. I follow my own lead. These, they cannot follow a real man. They follow the narcissist, the arrogant, those bristling with hubris.

A: They do not have your humility.

S: I never talk down to anyone if I boast. I never dismiss, exclude or attack difference. I do not interfere where I am not wanted. I maintain respect. Trump is an obnoxious, preening stack of shit. And yet, they follow this bully to the death. Their culture is entirely degraded. It is a joke because he is a fucking clown. A deadly joke because this clown wants blood.

04.01.2026

S: Today I drew a small watercolour sketch of them and sent it to them.

A: And?

S: It is good to be an artist sometimes. I looked into their face and their eyes in this photograph. I thought of looking into their face and eyes in real life.

A: What is the fun of it? They are yours already. Why try to catch the fish with your paintbrush? Or rather, your stylus?

S: They appreciate my art. They see me as an artist.

A: Is that all? A muse that wants you?

S: No. Because it has been my ambition to draw portraits of one that I care for. One that I want. One that is mine. My art is love. And my love is my art. She is giving me my wish and my desire. It has been my ambition to send them the portraits. To show my care to them. To gift my eyes to them.

A: You like looking.

S: Who does not? They are beautiful. They are beauty itself. Kindness, care and love. I am drawing love. My art is love. I draw my care onto the screen. Love represented through love. And then, their face is the diary of my senses, my feelings, where I am in this universe in this moment.

A: What do they think of it?

S: Whatever they think of it, I hope they will recognise the care and the thought. I have tried to catch the radiance of the moon on paper. It is the whimsy of the lover and the poet.

04.01.2026

S: The devil offers god the world. The greatness of god is that he kicks it away from himself. Satan comes to Christ to offer everything. It is an offer that god refuses.

A: Why? Of what relevance is it?

S: This beastly shitty world? What is it? It is corruption and stench. God cannot sully himself with it.

A: The devil offers this world to you?

S: The path of seduction in this world is to offer false belonging, false identity and false love to the different. They peddle their wares of deceit, these devils. They would have you sell your conscience for a lie.

A: You have not been seduced?

S: The Tiger stands. The resistance and the Revolution. One that does not bend.

A: What does god get from this solitary stand? Nothing.

S: What is that which is earthly? There are greater things. They cannot hand you honour, those that have no honour. I come from the honour economy. They cannot give me what I want. They are shameful and shameless. In the world of ideas, I am the king and the god of gods. Because I am against them and their world and not of it. The lone voice of a real man and not a slave like them. The Mother has raised a man and not a cowardly slave.

A: Ego. Arrogance.

S: The pride of one that has honour. Unlike them. Valid and legitimate pride against their universe of sin and dishonour.

03.01.2025

S: There is one sure way into hell. Fall in love with one that does not love you.

A: Forget.

S: Do you know, to relieve a cat of stress, all you need is a cardboard box? It is a refuge, a hiding place. I am a man and a cardboard box cannot do. Instead I lie in my bed, unable to rise. The bed is my box. The refuge and the hiding place. The thoughts pin you down, the ache.

A: But in the end, you do rise.

S: Somehow. It is a massive effort of will.

A: What is the bed?

S: It is death. I am in love with death. When Freud wrote of the death instinct, he was right. When your love is not fulfilled, that is what you crave. Death.

A: Don’t let them win. Do not die.

S: Every day, I play at death. But then life comes. Life over death. Love over hate, apathy and indifference. Death is so sweet, so sweet.

A: You will beat this. Think of them. Nothing touches them. They have a train of admirers, one after the other. You are nothing to them. They do not think of you. They never loved you.

S: The mind says to live. The heart says to die. We will see the result when the sun rises once more.

A: Think of the present.

S: The past is precarious and the present is uncertain. Does the future hold any hope?

02.12.2025

S: They ask me what I look at when I look into their eyes. What I think.

A: What is it?

S: Their eyes are intoxication. They are intoxication. I am one who is drunk when they set their eyes upon me. I do not think. I am no longer sober. Simply I look and I am drunk by their eyes.

A: Beauty is a trap for the eyes.

S: You cannot understand beauty from afar. It asks for closeness. Just another closer look. Then another. Then another.

A: Do you think you can unfold the secrets in their eyes?

S: All of the facets of the jewels that make up the elements of their eyes, all of their whispers and murmurings, can a genius understand them?

A: Can a genius love?

S: Does not love call for a genius of its own?

A: A genius of intoxication?

S: The Tiger looks into the eyes of one that is his. He drinks from those eyes of bewitchment. The more he drinks, the thirstier he is. The more he is bewitched. The spell is strong, the intoxication is strong.

A: And the one that is Tiger’s?

S: They look back. In their eyes there is the mystery. They are the enigma.

01.12.2025

A: It is the time of change and transformation. It is the New Year.

S: This taste of the Revolution, it passes quickly for the sheep. They forget quickly. This taste is what we have prepared our dishes for our whole life.

A: There is change but there is constancy.

S: Yes, I still feel the shadow of the embrace of the Mother goddess. Her arms are around my neck and back. My body is colliding with hers and the heat grows. I am connected to her like I am connected to the body of my lover. She is my anchor to the world and the heavens. She saves me and gives me support.

A: You know that she is not real.

S: She is the ideal. The ideal warrior. Love and protection. The fight. The hero. Power itself.

A: You embrace a thought?

S: It was her that rescued me. The Mother Goddess. The things we cannot speak of, the secrets. I was dead and she gave me life. From the pain came The Mother and she was Love.

A: You ask for the embrace?

S: I long for it again to savour her form, to get close to her. I am her son and her lover. To feel her just once more in my life, the wish of the fighter.

31.12.2025

A: It is the New Year. Forgive.

S: Why? Why should I? They have not reformed themselves. They have done nothing worthy of forgiveness. Instead, they capitalise on their injustice and hate. They are oppressors.

A: So you seethe with judgement?

S: Yes. And I remove them from my life, my love and my friendship. They are false. I am not.

A: Yet you spill outrage and criticism.

S: One renounces and denounces.

A: In aid of what?

S: What else is there but our words and thoughts? This world inspires great anger. And it is the people of the world that make it what it is. I have had to swallow them and their hate and falsity. Now, I spit it out. I vomit them out from my stomach.

A: They hate the bitter.

S: You are wrong. They are addicted to coffee with its bitter dregs. And let them hate. It is what they do best. They would silence the one that calls out injustice and their caprice. They wound and then expect no retaliation. They cut and reject and expect no remonstrance. They do wrong and expect no judgement. They anger, and then outlaw anger.

A: The hero of words.

S: You sneer but what else is there? All we have is our our words so we have a word. They do not listen because they cannot. They do not mend their ways because they cannot. So I remove myself from the equation. Live without them. And forgiveness? Perhaps when I am dead.