ego and acceptance (microfiction)

25.11.2025

S: When someone returns your affection, you feel like the king of the world.

A: You feel like that anyway. You have a big ego.

S: You know me. And you are right. But it is different when someone likes you. Because then you feel even more like the king of the world.

A: Plenty of them like you.

S: It doesn’t matter if someone likes me or not. Because they do not act upon it. They do nothing. They let me do nothing. And therefore, it did not and does not count. What counts is action in love. Just as in war.

A: How do you know they like you if they do nothing about it?

S: That is exactly my point.

A: Clarify for me.

S: Romance is a guessing game. Do they like me? How much do they like me? What do I mean to them? We keep on looking for the signs in other people. But the real sign is how much they are willing to make time for you. That is what it comes down to. When people make time for you and want to meet you, to have you to themselves. When even if things are difficult, they make it happen. That proves that they love you and care about you.

A: That is the only proof you would have?

S: What else is there? Just receiving a look of like cannot give you satisfaction. It is not like holding someone in your arms. Just hearing the words that indicate that someone likes you, it doesn’t satisfy you. You have to be able to feel that something real is happening. And it feels real when you are there, looking into their eyes, touching them, whispering sweet nothings to them.

A: Your ego relies on acceptance?

S: When I was rejected, I wanted to die. I am not exaggerating.

A: Well now that you have been accepted, you should want to live. So live.

S: Life has embraced me now. She wears a flower in her hair and she dances with abandon. I follow her through the fields of summer. All the while, the chill winter wind blows. But when I am with her, I do not feel it.

two become one

25.11.2025

S: It is a curious dance, isn’t it?

A: A rhetorical question? What do you speak upon?

S: You hold hands. You caress the fingers and the palms. Skin brushing against skin. You embrace them and hold them tight. You never want to let go, their body on yours. Lips on lips, tasting their life…

A: The ships colliding, you speak on this? What is so curious about it?

S: It is two becoming one.

A: Connection is what life is about.

S: But in this culture of atoms, of autonomy and independence, of individualism, is it not a paradox that two become one?

A: But is it not the case that it is the rule of the one here? Therefore if two become one, they can be ruled?

S: There may be that in what you say. But if the rules of the two that become one are idiosyncratic, how can they be ruled? Because a general rule relies on general application, not the specific. The global and not the local.

A: You concentrate on two becoming one.

S: I am concentrating upon it. My other duties are piling up.

two become one

the field of energy is multiplied

two gazes

two bodies

one passion meets another

match for match

touch for touch

together against the stone

touch as waves of energy (microfiction)

24.11.2025

S: You know, there is this electric magnetic force in the fingers.

A: How so?

S: When someone runs their fingers ever so delicately across your skin, barely touching you, when they caress you with the lightest of touches, all the sparks in your body start flying.

A: Like a tickle?

S: It is a lover’s tickle. And it sends shivers all through you as the electric magnetic force multiplies in your body.

A: They often call love magnetism.

S: I see touch as waves of energy that emanate from the body of the loved one into the recesses of the self. As energy combines and reawakens within.

A: So what do you touch when you touch the lover?

S: You touch life itself. I feel the force of life within them. When I clasp them towards me, I feel life. When I kiss them on their soft neck, their full lips, their plump cheeks, I feel life itself. The thing itself. I have hungered for it.

A: Love is life?

S: Love is life. Love is death. There are highs and there are lows. Ecstatic highs and awful lows. But always, we hope to feel life itself. I bite at their cheeks. That is life. I gulp at their throat. That is life. I kiss their hair. That is also life.

A: You want to live so bad?

S: The dead hunger to live. I was all dead.

A: You? There is no man more active.

S: I was at the bottom of a well. And instead of helping me, they threw buckets of cold water over me. It was the well of death. The angel flew overhead. She did not even look at me…

A: You have clambered out of the well now. Drink the water and move on.

the hindi film viewer (microfiction)

24.11.2025

A: What was the last Bollywood film that you watched?

S: Don’t call it Bollywood. I hate that word. We are Indian, we don’t need to copy anyone. Call it the Hindi film. It was War 2 with Hrithik Roshan. The actor is Punjabi. He plays a warrior. That is what we are.

A: And what is it like to be a Hindi film viewer?

S: When you are a stranger in a strange land, the Hindi film is everything. It is the culture and the teaching. A space where Indian men like me aren’t stereotypes, sidelined, villains. Instead, we are heroes.

A: Is that what you love about the Hindi film?

S: I told you. The classic Hindi film is everything. Story. Music. Dancing women dancing the dance of seduction. Love. Comedy. War.

A: If you love them so much, why do you watch so seldom?

S: I watch my dancing women on my phone. I replay the scenes I have seen in my head, reflecting on them all the time. Everywhere I go, I listen to the songs and the lyrics on the move.

A: A real fan. I guess a fan with no time.

S: When you have been named after a film, Sunil Dutt in Mother India, when your destiny comes from that film, to protect Mother India, then it is only fitting that you are the ultimate fan. I might hold a PhD in English literature and First Class Honours in the subject. But all my knowledge of the stories comes from the Hindi film.

the request for love (microfiction)

23.11.2025

S: You know, one that loves love asked me yesterday to speak on love.

A: A new listener?

S: Yes. But what would this one have me speak on? The eyes of desire? The caress of the lips? The words of intoxication? The highs, like a drug?

A: Presumably.

S: We come from the warrior culture. Our love is war.

A: Love is not war. Life is not a war.

S: Love is war and life is war. This is the warrior culture. Do you know what Tiger’s love is? The Mother has asked her son to protect her honour. He has promised. She wants a warrior, not a boy.

A: And what about the desire of the ones that would be with you?

S: For two years, I wrote the words of love to one. Every night. I put my heart on a plate. Who knows what these ones desire? I adorned the rose of love and posted it in a love letter. It is not that.

A: Tell me what your love is. Forget that one.

S: In the film ‘Hum’, Tiger frantically searches for his daughter in law and his granddaughter. The Mother. He shows a photo of the daughter in law. The guy he asks makes a lewd remark about her, The Mother. Tiger asks him to respect the fact that she is his daughter. For respect. The man will not give respect. He persists in his grossness. In this part of the movie, Tiger has taken on the identity of an average man for his orphaned step brothers he has had to raise at the request of his dying step mother. No one knows he is Tiger. But you cannot hide the fact that you are Tiger. Tiger takes off his glasses. He shakes his hair like a Tiger. The Tiger’s mane. And then he strikes. No one can believe it. They have to pull him off. He is rage. That is Tiger’s love. And I am Tiger. Our love is war. What happened in the movie has happened in real life. Tiger has shown his real identity. Tiger has shown his love. Tiger’s love is ferocious.

the lonely (microfiction)

22.11.2025

S: What a horrible thing loneliness is.

A: The occasion for thinking so? You are not that lonely nowadays are you?

S: I have been lonely. Perhaps few have been as lonely as I have been.

A: It is not a competition.

S: But today, it is not me that is lonely, thankfully. I am looking at lonely people destroying their lives around me through loneliness.

A: And what do you feel?

S: I understand them. I feel pity for them. It is a disease. What is bad about loneliness is that even if you try to escape loneliness, the feeling of loneliness will destroy even the attempt to escape it. Because the lonely do things that only the lonely can do. And that others don’t understand. Bizarre and insane things.

A: How did you escape loneliness?

S: I tried everything. I was also bizarre. Then, one day, the loneliness was over. But let me tell you, in our nightmares we are lonely. It is a terrible thing because the nightmare becomes life. And it is made worse by this Western society. Because in the past, you would have the whole family to support you. They have made their people live by themselves. And then, only one person, one special person is allowed to take away their loneliness. The lonely are risking all their redemption on one person. Who may not even be trustworthy. That is why so many are so lonely. They have created this colossal disease, this atomisation in society. This terrible burden of loneliness which you relieve onto the shoulders of just one person. And then, everyone around you, they keep so busy from you and so separate that they can never relieve your loneliness.

A: You would have them live like you, in the Indian family?

S: What is called Western Independence costs you heavily. Read the ‘Divergent’ series. The heroine never recovers from the separation with her parents, her independence and choice. The Indian way is how we have been living for thousands of years. It is the natural way. It is how we have escaped loneliness through the ages.

A: Keep your good wishes to the lonely.

S: They are not bad people. They do not deserve the judgement. They are just lonely and as I have said, it is a disease. I understand and I will not judge them. Instead, I will hope that their loneliness is over. That they can escape this loneliness.

what a warrior wants

22.11.2025

A: What do want right now?

S: War.

A: You do not want war. War is devastation and suffering.

S: What is this that we have now? We live in a world of injustice, selfishness and greed. Oppression.

A: Violence is not a solution.

S: Only an imbecile would say so. The government has the monopoly on violence therefore they can coerce and rape us all.

A: Do you believe these things you say?

S: Yes, I believe.

A: This war that you would have? What? Who?

S: Against this fascist and xenophobic government. Against the elites.

A: Not a war then. A Revolution.

S: Call it what you want. I would have a head on a plate.

A: Democracy goes out of the window?

S: What democracy? I don’t accept the rule of the rich, the unjust and the racist above me. They are my enemies. I hate them. The sheep that are lied to and led? Fuck them. They have insulted my Mother.

A: There will be no war.

S: I have told you many times. All it takes is one spark. Then there will be the fire.

A: You would burn down the whole world?

S: Yes. The fire is purity. It is sacred.

A: It is good then that no follow.

S: In a Revolution, there has to be The Tiger. And there has to be the war. The Tiger is here. And, when even these slaves to the state have had enough of their bootlicking bondage, then there will be the call of war, the nectar to our ears. And then? The absolute rage that chokes my body will dance through space. Mother Kali who I clasp to me will be free.

the impermeability and resilience of hate (microfiction)

21.11.2025

S: A lot of people think that racism is natural.

A: Why?

S: Because they have cultivated it to be so strong here. One of the most xenophobic and racist countries in the entire world.

A: Why remark upon it? They are racist but you are not allowed to say that they are. They don’t want to admit it to themselves. They are under the delusion that they are good people. They have made the country into an embarrassment.

S: The reason I bring it up is to ask you the question. Have you ever pondered upon the impermeability and resilience of hate?

A: What do you mean?

S: These haters can be around people of difference the whole day at work and so on. In different social settings, wherever. They have been around us for hundreds of years. And yet, they still hate us. We are not included in their social networks. Their deepest relationships are like for like.

A: So from that you draw the conclusion that hate is impermeable and resilient?

S: It is not, of course, everyone. There are exceptions. My closest friends are across cultures. But, speaking in general terms, all it takes is a human dung heap like Farage or Trump for them to flare up with their hate crimes. And recruit their little chickenshit scumbags to stoke the flames and rouse up these imbeciles in this society against us.

A: What is the point of pointing it out? It is not going to change anything.

S: To say the truth is an act of resistance in itself. I don’t accept the bullshit lip service narrative that they are trying to project, that racism has been cured, that there is no work to be done, that everyone is living in a rosy tinted reality holding hands. They are wrong. They are atrocious. Their society is atrocious. It is worse now with racism than when I was a kid, when the skinheads were around.

A: You want to say the truth and they want to cancel you. What is this game? Why is it worth playing?

S: One day, they will look back at this period in history and they will say that it was The Tiger that was right. It is right to be militant against their racism. It is right to criticise them. It is right to fight them. It is right to keep on saying that it does not matter what colour someone is, what culture they are from, that everyone is worthy of love and that we are all human beings.

A: But you don’t see these racists as human beings. All you do is swear at them.

S: When you become a monster, then in the story, there will be someone to kill the monster. The hero. In this story, it is The Tiger.

those that break hearts (microfiction)

21.11.2025

S: There is this Hindi film. I forget the entire story, but there is a break up between two couples. Because they are cheating with their friend’s partner. And then the ones that have been rejected, that have been cheated on, they form a couple of their own.

A: You and your films. Why remember this story?

S: When you are rejected, you feel pain. It is like a hammer at your brain. It chisels away at you. You feel sick. You are sick. It is a struggle to get through things. All your dreams come crashing down all around you. You do not want to live any more. You don’t want to live without them. That is what they had to go through.

A: And? It happens. It is life.

S: It is life. You can’t trust anyone. Because most are not capable of love.

A: It is a bit of a jump to say that you can’t trust anyone.

S: Every time, we say that. And then, after we trust them, they hurt us.

A: Forget the past. You just haven’t met a good person. Why this Indian film?

S: Because there are those that break hearts. Because, when they have been rejected and cheated on, this couple that tries to find solace in each other, they say that we will show them that we can live as well.

A: You want to show those that broke your heart that you can live as well?

S: You know, I had this daydream. That I would parade my partner in front of them, that I would show them. They were wrong. They are wrong. But it does not matter. They are living their lives and I am living my life. I do not talk to them. I do not interact with them. I am not going to talk to them. And I am not going to interact with them. They have shown me their real self. Whatever anyone thinks about them, I know how they treated me.

A: Everyone tells you that you are wrong to separate yourself from people like this.

S: It is all or nothing. Those that break your heart, they ask you to kill your love for them. They asked me to do something that was impossible and I had to do it. It is best to keep away from them. What will come of it otherwise? There is nothing. And I do not want nothing in my life. I want to live. And living means love.

medicine in the body (microfiction)

20.11.2025

‘You are looking considerably better’, remarked Alfonso, surveying me up and down. He was looking particularly dashing today too.

‘Was there any issue before?’ I asked him, raising my eyebrow archly.

‘You would not like the answer’, he grinned at me. ‘What is it do you think that is doing it for you?’

‘Having someone to hold.’

Alfonso smiled. ‘So, at last! But how is the holding doing so much?’

‘Before, I was wandering about this world, as lonely as a cloud on high. There was no love that was being offered to me. In fact, I was given refusal, disdain and rejection. Over and over again. Now, love is being offered to me and being taken from me in this hold.’

‘You think that love cures?’ asked Alfonso. ‘I heard that it is a sickness of itself.’

‘Holding someone is connection. What else do we search for in this life? We have it before we are born. We are in our mothers. After we are born, we stay close to our mother, skin upon skin. Looking into her eyes the whole time. Connection is our beginning and it is what forms our minds. That is why holding someone is medicine. Their body is medicine. The medicine of connection.’

‘Says the one that is healed.’

‘Jesus healed by laying his hands on others. Not by magic. But by touch.’

‘How does it feel, this healing?’

‘The ego is boosted. There is someone for me, someone that cares for me, someone that loves me, someone that holds me in this moment. There is someone against my skin that protects me from this cold and hard world. I feel secure, supported, greater than myself. I feel that now I am a true part of the human race.’

‘Someone to hold. A simple cure.’

‘The cure is simple. But to get someone to hold? It is not simple. It is fiendishly complicated. But we will not go into that. There are those that object to the truth because it is not in their interest and does not serve their agenda. And we live in the cancel culture. Instead, I will enjoy the cure.’