Reducing Marriage Cost for the Poor in India

The Cost of the Indian Wedding on the Poor

Indian marriages, which can have hundreds or thousands of guests, are known for their extravagance as families aim to impress their future in-laws and guests. In 2020, around 10 million weddings took place in a market worth $50bn [1]. In 2025, the wedding industry is worth $130 billion, the second largest industry in the country [2]. According to research in 2025, an average Indian family’s expenditure on a wedding is approximately triple its annual income and twice what is spent on the child’s education for 18 years. [3]

This lavish expenditure puts a burden upon lower income families in a country where many often go hungry. People may commit suicide because of the financial pressures and the inability to afford a marriage [4]. To raise the funds, the family may have to sell what land they own in agricultural areas as family wealth is suddenly and irretrievably lost. [5] Again, the occasion might give rise to debts incurred from unscrupulous money lenders at exploitative rates or which effectively result in slavery to pay off loans [6]. In addition, marriages can often be the occasion for exploitative practices such as the demand for dowries which increases financial pressures on the family. [7] The 2006 Rural Economic and Demographic Survey (REDS) states that dowry was paid in 95% of marriages during 1960-2008. [8] Not least, poorer families feel a pressure to emulate the weddings of the rich or those that they see in Bollywood films, which they cannot afford. [9]

The State’s Curbing of Marriage Expenditure

The Indian state has recognised these pressures and attempted to remedy them. The Marriages (Compulsory Registration and Prevention of Wasteful Expenditure) Bill was introduced in Parliament in 2017. The bill stipulated that families who spent more than 5 lakh rupees (about four thousand pounds) on a wedding had to donate 10 percent of the overall cost of the weddings to brides from poor families. [10]

To prevent dowries, the Dowry Prohibition Act has been in place since 1961. To give or to take a dowry in India is an offence with at least five years of imprisonment in the case of violations. There is also a fine of either about £150 or the value of the dowry given, whichever is higher. [11]

Civil Society’s Innovations as Solutions

Pragati Gramodyog evam Samaj Kalyan Sansthan (Progressive Village-Enterprises and Social-welfare Institute) is a voluntary non-profit organisation which has offered a solution to ease the financial pressure on Indian families for weddings and to prevent debt bondage for the poor. They organised group weddings of five people at a time which reduced the cost of the wedding ceremony from $750 per person to only $15 per person [12]. This civil society solution showed that innovative practices and a sense of practicality could alleviate the financial burdens on the poorest.

The Challenge Ahead: Education

Low levels of education combine with poverty to put pressures on Indian families to spend lavishly on weddings. [13] The right education would give an impetus for men and women to challenge illegal practices like dowry. [14] Education could also cause a shift in social perceptions and financial awareness so that Bollywood films and the conspicuous consumption of the rich did not influence individuals so much to their detriment.

The Future of Marriage

At the heart of the problem of lavish wedding expenditure is the perception of tradition. The dowry culture and the conspicuous consumption culture around Indian weddings. Indians want to keep their traditions alive, at any cost. This is what the law is up against. Civil society innovations like group weddings show that traditions can be reconciled with practicality if weddings are thought through and planned financially. Education can provide a path forward from exploitation, slavery and debt bondage. The future of marriage in India is a just and rational marriage if the right conditions are put into place.

the critic

07.02.2026

A: All this criticism. That is why you are hated.

S: If I criticise this country in which I was born and raised, that is my right. I know what these racists want. They want us to go ‘back home’ if we don’t like it. This is my home. And it is full of disgusting conformism, oppression and hate. I can say what I like about it. Who the fuck are they to silence me? I’m as British as them.

A: Why criticise? Why not blend in?

S: For what? They reject us. A life of experience tells the sorry tale. They have judged me. They think I am not good enough for them. That they are better than me. But you know what? I judge them back. I am the real judge of this society. The power is mine. I am the one that is better than them.

A: To judge, this is about power?

S: Yes. Their false judgement of me is a power move. They try to retain their power over me. But you can’t have power over the most powerful. The Tiger is the most powerful. No one can rule over The Tiger. Except for The Mother. And she is a goddess.

A: You will keep judging even though they hate you?

S: All the sheep can do is hate. That is their culture. They defend this oppression and cheapness. That is their culture.

A: And you?

S: I worship The Revolution. I stand against the herd. I am the judge.

the war of love the demand of a story

06.02.2026

A: After all this time, I would have a story of you.

S: Why? You wish one that has been suffocated to speak?

A: Perhaps I prefer the rasp of an unquiet voice.

S: What would you have? Comedy? Tragedy?

A: Whatever you will give will be of suffering.

S: You cannot predict genius. However much you think you can. The styles of The Tiger are audacious. None can match this excellence and therefore none can expect.

A: You think of yourself as the master of the story?

S: This is the age of The Tiger. If there is a period now in letters, it is mine.

A: What is it in your words that allures?

S: Magic. And madness. The words of the brave and the storm of freedom. That which passes understanding. The voice of a god.

A: Ego untrammeled.

S: Once, there was a dispute between the king and the queen. It was a dispute about love, the thing itself.

A: A lover’s quarrel? A triviality.

S: It was a war of fire and ice. The kingdom watched with widened eyes and beating hearts. It was a war of silence in mouths and of countless letters. It was war to the death.

A: Who won? The king or the queen?

S: I have piqued your interest at last? The war drags on. There are those that swear the queen is the victor. There are those that proclaim the king. The king’s bravery knows no bounds. The queen’s stillness in battle is unparalleled.

A: What is the complication?

S: It is the war of this time. The war of love which devastates this world. Love is the mystery of this existence. Who can tell who is the winner in love? Some say that the king lost and the queen lost. There was no winner.

A: But then, you are called after Krishna, the god of love. Are you not the master of loving? Are you not the winner in this game of love? Come, ego, speak!

S: This game is beautiful. This game is deadly. Krishna smiles. What is behind the smile of a god? The worshipper basks in the love of this smile. It is the veil and it is the face, beautiful like the moon.

the darkness within

05.02.2026

A: This darkness that is within you, it scares people. It offends and angers them.

S: This understanding of the world, it is built on an awareness of what this world would do to the different. It is based upon my experience of the world.

A: You are the stuff that becomes a villain in a movie.

S: They have always had us down as the villain. It makes no difference what we do. There is not true acceptance of us in this society. And therefore, the only thing for us to do is to tear this society down.

A: There is nothing that is good?

S: The real darkness lies in what is here. Not in me or us. It lurks beneath things, under them. It is in every pore.

A: You would be the saviour of the world? You are the answer? What is your philosophy?

S: I say it time and time again. The philosophy of love. The philosophy of the warrior. Meritocracy. He who has the most intelligence and the most ability, this world should be theirs.

A: How can darkness become light? You are the shadow self. You are violence.

S: This violence is in thought. It is a violence directed at the things of this world. It is a violence that would reshape this society. The warrior culture.

A: They believe that you are a fossil.

S: This fossil can fight.

A: They believe that you are filled with irrational anger.

S: This anger makes you strong. It is based upon reason.

A: They believe that you are deluded.

S: The sugar that they coat upon things has made them sick. I see beyond the sugar. I talk about the poison which they have fed me.

A: What good does stubborn difference do? You go against all and all will go against you.

S: Only all are a match for me. I am The Tiger. I am the greatest. I don’t fight ants. Come into the battle of the wits. It is my jungle. Of which I am the king.

embrace love

05.02.2026

A: Embrace love in your arms. Live. Live love.

S: What else do I do? I breathe in her hair. I clasp her to myself. I kiss her sweet lips. I feel her essence.

A: And? Is this not enough?

S: The warrior has the war. And the world is yet to be won.

A: This love. What does she see in you?

S: The heart, body and mind of a man. A real man.

A: Are you not a boy?

S: The man is the one that saves this world from itself. The man is the one that will protect you. The child that is in me is only one part of this man.

A: How can you tear yourself from those arms?

S: Discipline. There is much to do and no time to do it. The people expect. I am their prayer. I am The Tiger. Love has to share The Tiger with the world.

A: Are you not her most cherished one?

S: Love looks for a real man. Her eyes are hungry for him. Where do you find a real man? In the village. In Punjab. In six thousand years of time. In India. In god. In The Tiger.

A: You have the hubris of manhood.

S: Why not? Come anyone to contest me. I am ready forever for a fight. And I will dance on everybody’s head. I am the lover and the fighter.

samurai and the indian hamlet – a day in culture

04.02.2026

I was writing to A. It was always a letter to A. A. was the best of my friends. I was telling them what The Tiger had done today.

It began in the morning with shaving after a week. Then, after a hearty and healthy breakfast, I rushed down to the British Museum for the Samurai exhibition. The space was spectacular. The weaponry, the costumes, the video along a massive wall. The mission was to show that the warrior culture is also an artistic and cultural endeavour. There were splendid Japanese woodblocks and even video games concerning the heroic exploits of the warriors and the ruling class.

This decadent culture looks to the time of the Samurai as an inspiration. A society with honour and with bravery that makes the corruption of the present pale into the insignificance that it is. And where do the Samurai come from? It is not Japan. They come from India and Buddhism. The Samurai are the brothers of India.

I rushed through the Hawaii exhibition afterwards. It was marred by a concentration on the relationships between that country and Great Britain. However, there were some glorious costumes on display, feather necklaces and feather cloaks radiant with the beauty of colour. The grimacing statuettes were splendid in their own way, truly characterful representations of humanoid figures.

The Oxfam bookshop next to the British Museum followed. I am saving a visit there tomorrow at lunchtime to pick up what I spotted if it is still there – fate will decide.

The Outernet was the next distraction before I wolfed down a reduced price M & S gala pork pie for lunch in about ten minutes. I watched a number of videos:

Biophilia by Sebastien Labrunie – about the Mother Tree.

Superradiance by Memo Akten and Katie Hofstadter – About embodiment in the planet

Pools by Maggie West and Scott Pagano – about water absorbing into sand in brilliant colours

Cacophony of Stillness by Jesse Woolston – the expression of natural phenomena in new and challenging ways

Transcendence by Robert Newman – geometry and the depths of the natural world

I played on the Roland piano. There were some really accomplished pianists that played before me and after me. I played something very simple and got one of the accomplished guys to film me. It will go up on my Instagram soon, maybe tomorrow morning.

A jaunt in Liberty next. I have never been there before. The textiles and fabrics were amazing. They reminded me of when I would go into the Indian shops with my mum around Green street and she would buy the Indian fabrics to make her own clothes. I will definitely at some point in my life go there and get a shirt made in one of the fabric designs.

Next stop, Tate Britain. First it was the Lee Miller exhibition. I had watched the film first and this was what was informing my viewings of the photographs. I liked her modelling photographs much more than her photographs as a photographer. There was some video footage of her posing as a statue which drives a poet mad and also her messing around stroking a phallic piece of sculpture and laughing about it, so the exhibition veered into a type of pornography, an impression that was reinforced by the number of nudes of her that were being exhibited. I had studied this period of photography before and it reminded me of my many years of research.

I was somewhat envious of her life. The great difference between being a glamorous woman and being an average man (albeit a handsome one that was a genius and a god). I had never had and never would have the opportunities that she had for love or for a life of high society. She had hung around Picasso and Man Ray, the latter when she was not even famous. The life that I had wanted had never come – being friends or even lovers with artists and writers. She’d had it all.

Desultory walk through the Turner and Constable exhibition looking at the differences between them and their rivalry. I’ve never liked either of them. However, it can’t be denied that they had some spectacular and striking pieces. As I was walking through the gallery, I had the same thought that I always have in these places. The people there will never talk to you. You can’t find any friends or lovers there, any fellow lovers of art. What a degraded time that we live in.

On the way home, I shopped in Tesco and got some reduced price Black Cherry conserve, two whole jars of it. I also had a call with a friend in a country that is going through atrocities and upheaval at the moment.

At home, it was chicken curry and rice followed by hot chocolate cake and custard. Then a phone call with the one that is mine before I watched the Hindi film Dhurandhar that has raked in so much money at the worldwide box office. It was an Indian version of Hamlet where the hero goes into the enemy’s country in the name of justice and revenge. It was a tightly constructed film. Where do I sit on the controversy? India claims that the Pakistani state creates terrorists that attack India. Who knows the truth of these matters? I don’t have the information or the intelligence. Like me, the average person does not. Are Indian people, film makers and the state falsely claiming that the Pakistani state is covertly fighting them? Is this racism? The state is all about racism. That is the precondition for the modern day state, us and them. It is the state that is disgusting and corrupt. Any state. I am an anarchist. I stand for real freedom. I stand for love rather than hate. I watch the film. I don’t let the fiction influence my understanding. All states are corrupt and predicated on hate and terrorism and violence.

Finally, a long shower and then, as always, the writing to A. We are companions of the night.

the misanthrope

01.02.2026

A: Why do you hate other people so much?

S: I just got off the train. These people fucking stink. They have no concept of territory so they invade my personal space and touch me when it is the least thing wanted. You talk to them. They are not only stupid but full of hate. Try to think of intelligence and study around them. They will not entertain it. They will block it. They block love. They block ambition and talent. Who would love them?

A: They are loved more than you.

S: They are in love with evil. That is this society.

A: In India you do not fit in. In England you do not fit in. The problem is not them. It is you.

S: Fuck fitting in. Fuck them.

A: You need them. They do not need you.

S: The god walks upon earth. He is the prayer of the people. He is the prayer of The Mother.

A: You believe? Truly?

S: Life is confusion and disorientation. They would have me believe I am not god. But I am. You cannot destroy the divine.

A: Where will your hate of the people take you?

S: Who cares what they think? They have not given the god the due. I scorn them.

A: You are fighting with no army.

S: I am The Tiger. Alone I am more than enough.

ego and fight

02.02.2026

A: You are always fighting. Because you have a big ego.

S: To fight and to war is warrior destiny.

A: And ego?

S: Ego itself is fight. The ego is a defensive formation. It is protection.

A: Do you ever think that you have too much ego?

S: Whoever tries to disrespect the people, or The Mother, we will not tolerate it. We will teach them a lesson. And we are men. They are not. We will teach them the lesson.

A: Do we really have to fight for respect in this day and age?

S: When have you not had to fight for it? The world is full of evil. It is full of enemies that live in shame with no honour. This is the world of the shameless. They would drag you down into the corruption with them. Look at their society. They are monsters. They are disgusting.

A: And where does this ego and this fight come from? How is it made?

S: The Mother comes in song. She comes in dance. She comes in words and pictures. She reveals her beauty to her son and her lover. She is our honour. She is our love. She is us. She is our ego.

A: You would be the slave of a queen?

S: She is our heart. You cannot separate your heart from your spirit.

A: And this mother, what does she give you?

S: Everything. That is why she is The Mother Queen. One to follow to the death. One to follow into heaven. One to follow into hell if it is needed. With a smile on our faces.

the persistence of the readers

31.01.2026

S: There was this guy after them. The way that he spoke, the way that he looked at them. They knew it, what it was. Because you can’t fake emotion like that. But it ended with silence and separation. However, then, this guy was a writer. So they are all reading his words.

A: A story that you heard from someone somewhere?

S: Perhaps. Perhaps a story. Perhaps I heard it.

A: Why would someone read from across the distance?

S: Do you think that the guy was completely obtuse? The guy knew that they liked him.

A: Was that not wishful thinking?

S: Then explain why they sit there reading his words. What would be the point of it? Because the story is not over. Because you can’t just kill feelings. But they will be gone soon enough. Separation kills everything. You keep on getting further and further apart from each other.

A: This is a strange story.

S: They were strange people. You know, there is a type of person. When you are close to them, emotionally and in proximity, they do not even see you there. You are not a person to them. But when you are gone, then they suddenly achieve the realisation that you are a person.

A: He has done well to get shot of them. They can only appreciate what they have not got. That is not a good trait.

S: Of course not. But you can’t just cure immaturity and lack of experience. You know, in this society, everyone is expendable. But everyone is not expendable in Punjabi society. They are all jewels, the most precious thing of yours. Here, you can throw anyone away and throw anyone over. Because they believe that they will meet someone just as good or better. There are plenty of opportunities. That is why no one really matters and there is no love in this society. But where I’m from? You would die for the ones that you love. And gladly. You would do anything to keep them. The cultural contrast is too much.

A: But you let the ones that you loved go.

S: You can’t force them to love you back. Their love shrank from expression. There was nothing to be done about it. Now I am with someone that reciprocates feeling.

A: You knew that they liked you.

S: You cannot force yourself on someone. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. They had long enough. Whatever their regrets or joys that they are not with The Tiger, they are not with The Tiger. They read his words. They think of what he is doing. For no reason. No result.

A: And what did The Tiger do today?

S: The Tiger communicated with the one that is his because they can communicate. The Tiger shopped in two bookstores after work. The Tiger went to the gym and worked through his anger and frustration with heavy weights. The Tiger shopped at Lidl. The Tiger finished the novel that the one that is his gave him as a present on his commute. The Tiger drew on his tablet with his stylus. The Tiger wrote. In the day, the Tiger read ‘The Brain on Art’, psychology articles, and the news and poetry in Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Spanish and French. Before he caught the train, The Tiger saw a quick film at the Outernet. The Tiger ate a free dinner at Kentucky Fried Chicken. The Tiger keeps busy. He wants to do something with his life. He cannot be with those that do nothing.

a day in culture

30.01.2025

‘So,’ he asked me, ‘What did you get up to today?’

Alfonso had been dreamily staring into the distance. It was no good asking him what he was thinking in that tailored, beautiful grey suit of his that accentuated his sleek good looks. When he was thinking, he was gone from this world. But, at last, he had finally arisen from his slumber and deigned to parley with a mere mortal, myself.

‘Well, today, when I have not been calling the one that is mine, I have been immersed in culture. I was at the Singh Twins exhibition at Kew Gardens poring over the digital drawings. Then, there was a catch up with friends followed by a stint in the Science Museum as I explored an exhibition on the Future of Food. I rushed from there like a madman and made it into the ‘Zootopia 2’ film. I love animation. I love art. The first film, I took my nephew to watch it and it was his first film in a cinema. I created that memory for him. As I walked out of the cinema, there was a band playing in Westfield Shopping Centre, a lady banging at some drums, a cool guy with a saxophone and another guy that was equally as cool playing the decks as a DJ.’

‘A fine mixture of art, film, music and science and the environment. You do keep yourself busy dabbling in all sorts of different things.’

‘We only have one life,’ I said. ‘I want to keep on learning things, exploring this great world of ours. I want to keep connected to science and culture and the future. I am greedy for life in a way that people have forgotten to be. Greedy for new experiences to keep on changing and reshaping this mind of mine.’

‘What do you have planned for the rest of this day?’

‘I will read the novel that the one that cares for me has given to me.’

‘A beautiful end to a beautiful day. One that shares literature with you. You are lucky.’

‘It took me much time to get this lucky.’

‘How do you reflect on this day in culture?’ Alfonso gave me the look of a schoolmaster. He was maddeningly patronising in his airs sometimes. But because he was a goodnatured fellow, I would let it pass.

‘As I have often told you, I often thank myself for making my life such a beautiful one. I have chosen this life of study, of keeping up with things, of always extending myself and my knowledge. I have chosen to be a voracious reader and looker and thinker. I have always grown this mind from the tiny seed that it once was into a mighty banyan tree.’

‘I see you deliberately pick an Eastern tree to make this metaphor.’

‘Yes, it is consciously done. I am proud of being Punjabi. I am proud of coming from Mother India.’

‘Are there any other reflections?’

‘I think on how it could have all been different. I could have been with one of those other ones that would have been sharing my day with me. And then life would have had a different colour and a different taste. Instead of the strawberries, perhaps cherries. Instead of the cola, perhaps lemonade. The caprice of the ones that we love. It shapes our destinies. And? Perhaps they would muse on these words of mine and think what it would have been if they had put their slender and smooth hands into mine, the hands of this warrior and this Tiger. These hands that would have held them for the rest of their life in love, adulation and protection.’

‘Happiness is always tinged with sorrow. What we are given is always touched by loss.’

‘It is because it is so that we appreciate what we have. When I was in the wilderness, I could smell the milk and honey of the fortunate. Now I am fortunate myself but I have not forgotten the hunger and thirst of the wilderness. And those that put me there with their enmity.’