25.11.2025
S: When someone returns your affection, you feel like the king of the world.
A: You feel like that anyway. You have a big ego.
S: You know me. And you are right. But it is different when someone likes you. Because then you feel even more like the king of the world.
A: Plenty of them like you.
S: It doesn’t matter if someone likes me or not. Because they do not act upon it. They do nothing. They let me do nothing. And therefore, it did not and does not count. What counts is action in love. Just as in war.
A: How do you know they like you if they do nothing about it?
S: That is exactly my point.
A: Clarify for me.
S: Romance is a guessing game. Do they like me? How much do they like me? What do I mean to them? We keep on looking for the signs in other people. But the real sign is how much they are willing to make time for you. That is what it comes down to. When people make time for you and want to meet you, to have you to themselves. When even if things are difficult, they make it happen. That proves that they love you and care about you.
A: That is the only proof you would have?
S: What else is there? Just receiving a look of like cannot give you satisfaction. It is not like holding someone in your arms. Just hearing the words that indicate that someone likes you, it doesn’t satisfy you. You have to be able to feel that something real is happening. And it feels real when you are there, looking into their eyes, touching them, whispering sweet nothings to them.
A: Your ego relies on acceptance?
S: When I was rejected, I wanted to die. I am not exaggerating.
A: Well now that you have been accepted, you should want to live. So live.
S: Life has embraced me now. She wears a flower in her hair and she dances with abandon. I follow her through the fields of summer. All the while, the chill winter wind blows. But when I am with her, I do not feel it.
diary of a lone man 