13.11.2025
S: Writing really is a loser’s game.
A: Why do you say so?
S: What do you actually get from it?
A: Satisfaction. That you have completed the craft. Expression of the self.
S: You cannot eat those. They do not assuage your hunger.
A: You are touching other people and their minds and hearts.
S: Some hate. With absolute viciousness. They choose not to understand. How many do you think read what I write? How many do you think understand The Tiger?
A: What brings on this negativity? You are complete negativity. How do you do anything with this negativity?
S: I read an headline about Kim Kardashian. That she has a five billion pound business.
A: So what?
S: Here I am, having slogged away at writing for about twenty years or so. And I am still writing for free or for peanuts.
A: You are the one that chose to be socially responsible and to talk about serious issues. You could have written fluff to make money. They would have rewarded you for that.
S: Christ knew. The choice is between Mammon and god.
A: You are not religious. Even now, you could sell your pen. You would do well in whatever you wrote. You have the styles.
S: Sell myself? To the highest bidder? Impossible.
A: Well then, do not compare yourself to Kardashian. You do not have to have any message to be successful financially. In fact, they prefer you not to have any message to be successful.
S: Be content with nothing. That is this society all over. Be content with nothing. When the ones that have and get, you look at their contribution and what is even there? Out of nothing, they have made billions.
A: People want to be her. They do not want to be you. That is the secret of success. In fact, you are actually better looking than her and your life is actually full of more interest. But the problem is that Indian culture does not sell. It is not big in the public imagination. And you? You have dared to be different. You have done this to yourself. You should have tried to fit in.
S: I can’t fit into this. What this is, nobody should try to fit into it.
A: Yet they do. And therefore, you lose.
S: That, we will see. It depends on what you think winning means.
diary of a lone man 