21.10.2025
A: It is Diwali today. The triumph of light over darkness.
Me: Does light really triumph over darkness? Are we celebrating a real victory?
A: There is a philosophy behind that question. Go on then. Out with it.
Me: This world is darkness. That is my philosophy. I am the light. I am the sun. And I am losing against the darkness.
A: So why do people think that the light has triumphed then?
Me: There is no limit to a self-serving delusion. They think they live in a world of justice. Because it serves them.
A: It is easy to say others are deluded. It is hard to admit your own delusion.
Me: Then that would mean I am the same as everyone else.
A: It means that you are no better than anyone else.
Me: Why should I be? But to add to the philosophy, why should light win? What is inherently better about light? The Dark Mother, Kali, she is the darkness. She is the shadow self. And she is the perfect warrior.
A: You are not a warrior. I have told you before. You worship warriors but you are not one yourself.
Me: You are wrong. I am the true warrior. The war that I am in is a spiritual war. Harder to fight. More time consuming. More draining. I last because I am powerful.
A: I keep on telling you that the world is not against you.
Me: And I keep on telling you that you are wrong. It is.
A: You have told me yourself that all of your closest friends are from the dominant culture. That means that not everyone is against you.
Me: We argue together all the time.
A: That is because of you. You are argumentative.
Me: What do you expect from Punjab?
A: Stop calling yourself Punjab and India. It doesn’t do you any good. Not all Punjabis and Indians argue all the time.
Me: The Tiger is warlike. The Tiger fights. Punjab is the warrior culture. Your mouth and your fist had better be instruments of war. We are known for being warriors. We are known for war. Our language is known for its energy, our bodies for our strength…
A: Boastful, pessimistic, cynical…
Me: A proud Punjabi. A proud Indian. And an Englishman. That actually has a backbone.
diary of a lone man 