Buddha’s Parents. Or Bringing Children into a World of Suffering

22.05.2023

The other day, I was telling someone my jaded views of dating and relationships. The guy told me that I was really negative (all I was doing was telling the truth). The topic changed slightly. I said that, for me, one of the main motivations for being in a relationship was having children. The guy stared out into the distance with a frown on his face, asking me, in a tone of wrenching gravity, ‘how can you bring children into this suffering world?’ To my lukewarm negativity, he had suddenly brought a fire of absolute negativity as a response.

I won’t share what I said at the time. However, I did think about this generalised, modern (and to my mind, completely perverse) response to the idea of giving more children to humanity as its future. The story that came to mind was the origin of the Buddha. I hope you are familiar with it, but I will go over its general perimeters again.

Like the guy I was talking to, Buddha’s parents couldn’t stand the thought of bringing a child into this world of suffering. They basically imprisoned Gautama the Buddha – a prince – in the walls of a palace. Here, he could see, hear nor taste any suffering. There were not the old. There were not the sick. There were not the hungry. The Buddha lived in a bliss of non-awareness and ignorance as to the human condition.

As you may know, one day, the Buddha saw an old, sick, emaciated beggar somehow. The walls of ignorance were suddenly torn down. He had encountered all the suffering in the world. Despite the best efforts of his parents, the Buddha had now become chained to suffering, to being.

What I want to point out is this. Buddha’s parents wanted to protect the child from any form of suffering. But this is the human condition. They were really imprisoning the Buddha in a golden cage, separating him from the great mass of humanity. They were making him ignorant, inconsiderate, without compassion, without the means to end suffering for others. They were making him spoilt and careless. Like the rich and powerful, who live a life that is mostly without suffering (let us remember that his father was a king).

So, I have no qualms about bringing a child into this world of suffering. I come from a people that have suffered for thousands of years. But it is our duty, the aim of our life, the source of our greatest happiness to have children to bring into this world of suffering. We do not want to control their existence and keep them cooped up in any kind of golden cage to make them spoilt, isolated and separated from true existence. These are ideas that are foreign to us. We know that the chain of suffering binds us, that the chain of humanity and the human condition binds us to this existence. Yes, I have suffered. But the only things I would change are the mistakes of ignorance that I made when I was younger and more foolish than now, if that is possible. The mistakes that have hurt others. Suffering has taught me. And this is the flower of suffering which Friedrich Nietzsche wrote about. For the Buddha only became the Buddha, the Enlightened One, because he suffered. If we pluck at all the thorns, we cannot truly taste the perfume of the rose or truly see its bloom. Without the possibility of danger and mortality, there is no flower that we can set in our hearts. There is no enlightenment and there is nothing. We will bring children into the world to suffer, because we are the children of suffering.