the loser’s win

03.12.2025

S: I was watching this Hindi film once and there was this line: The only person that knows what winning is is the loser.

A: It’s a good line. Thoughts?

S: In relation to relationships.

A: How so?

S: Only someone not in a relationship, that finds it difficult to get into relationships, only they can understand what it means to be in a relationship.

A: There’s some truth to that.

S: And also, when that person, the loser in love, when that person gets into a relationship, then only they can rightly value that relationship. Because the relationship is the win. The relationship is winning in this life.

A: Scarcity creates value.

S: When there have never been those in your life, they become diamonds of people.

A: The loser has won?

S: That is a tale that will remain untold. And no one knows the ending. Only the beginning.

moving from sadness to happiness (microfiction)

02.12.2025

A: You have been grieving. You have been mourning a loved one.

S: Does mourning ever end? Is it finished? Why the past tense?

A: Yes. Because you are moving into happiness. How does it feel moving from sadness to happiness?

S: The ones that we have lost, we still remember them. The sadness of their loss. It doesn’t matter how happy we are. The cut goes deep. And, moreover, I am not mourning the dead. I am mourning the living. The quick and not the dead. How can the mourning for the living ever end?

A: Yet you must feel happiness?

S: I feel the intoxication. It has happened again. Yes, I feel happy.

A: Don’t cling to the dead. Free yourself from their arms.

S: Those arms are grasping at me. They want to pull me into the sea with them.

A: I have told you not to think those thoughts.

S: Because of them, I think that anyone I am with will betray me and leave me.

A: You are saying that you are scared? You told me that you do not fear.

S: I do not fear anything for myself. I am not scared of death or battle. But the ones that I love? Losing them fills me with terror.

A: You are wrong. You can live without them. You have proved it.

S: I don’t want to live without them.

A: You have told me yourself. However brutal this life is, you have to live it. The mourning period is over. It is finished now. There is someone now.

S: Do you think that if your brain has been habituated to mourning for years, that it can suddenly shake itself off from that mourning just like that? Do you think that someone with a memory like mine can just lose the memory of trauma?

A: You will have to. You owe it to yourself and to this someone. Everything takes time. Your happiness is new. It is being reborn. You were happy once before and you are happy once again. Happiness is the natural state of things. Forget the past. Don’t think on it. Learn how to trust again. The mark of bravery is trust and love. Everything will work out. Just enjoy happiness and contrast it with that sadness and the emptiness that you felt. That betrayal.

S: I want that happiness. I want to free myself from death.

A: Good. Then do so. Desire is the mother of action.

the talent to save the world

02.11.2025

S: It is those with the talent that save the world.

A: And the talentless?

S: They consume the world with their greed and ignorance. They destroy.

A: You have talent?

S: Who can deny it? I am The Tiger. Born and raised to be a hero. It is those with talent that have a destiny.

A: Tell me a story about talent.

S: There is an Indian film I was thinking about this morning, ‘Papa the Great’. How I have remembered, it is impossible to tell.

A: Yes?

S: There is a meek and submissive man. But his son worships him. The son does not know that his father is a coward and a non-man. But then, one day, the coward comes up against a gangster, the gangster’s crimes. Will he fight for justice? For truth? Can he become the hero his son believes he is? Or will he disappoint his son and become a non-man?

A: What has that to do with talent?

S: The meek man has two talents. One, he is Indian. The land of The Tiger. Two, he has love. The love of his son. That love that asks him to be a warrior. To fight the good fight. It is that love that my mother has bequeathed to me, desired from me.

A: You submit to the desire of the mother?

S: It is the way of India and the way of The Tiger. Still, there lives and breathes this big gangster. The world bows before him. He dishonours all. But not The Tiger’s mother. Not The Tiger. When you have self respect, you have everything. The son looks at us. He is the future. And the future has only one demand. Bravery.

resentment and forgiveness

01.12.2025

A: Why can’t you forgive them? Forgive them and forget them. Let them go.

S: I gave them the most precious thing in the world. Love. And it meant nothing to them.

A: There are those without hearts. There are stones. Learn the lesson. Do not love the stone. Do not love the ice. Love only fire because you are the fire. You are the sun.

S: From afar, we look at Moon. Moon irradiates the entirety of the sky. We look at Moon with longing. The eye clasps at Moon with her arms. Moon mocks our longing. How can we forgive Moon? That which is true Moon has kicked away with their foot, thrown it into my face. No reason, simply caprice.

A: If so, Moon is not worthy of love.

S: Hence the resentment. Moon tricked me into loving them. Moon was false. Moon knows it themselves.

A: This resentment and grudge will do nothing. And you can do nothing. There is no reason or purpose in this grudge.

S: Yet we hold onto this grudge with our life. Moon is injustice. To hold a grudge against injustice is the nature of The Tiger. That is why he is known and that is his power. The world will not let us fulfill our grudges but we nurse them in our breasts like much loved children. In our dreams, there is justice triumphant. And below Moon, away from Moon, in spite of Moon, we kiss those that have been just to us. Because it is love that is justice and justice that is love.

kissing

30.11.2025

S: Indian people from the villages don’t kiss on the lips.

A: What do you mean?

S: They don’t. It’s a Western thing.

A: So what do you think about when you kiss someone on the lips?

S: Many things. What the next stage should be. What they are thinking. What they are feeling.

A: The words of a planner and a psychologist.

S: In love, you have to become not only a psychologist but a manipulator.

A: Manipulation?

S: You have to manage the situation in a persuasive way.

A: Call it persuasion and not manipulation then.

S: You persuade them with your lips and your eyes, your body and your words, the expressions on your face.

A: Love is not force.

S: But it is energy. The energy that is in the heart has to find itself and its way into the heart of the other.

A: Not just in the heart.

S: Agreed. Not just in the heart. In places various. In the whole body with it’s smooth skin and it’s gleaming lights.

giving an inch, taking a mile

30.11.2025

S: You know, there’s only one rule in love when you first meet someone.

A: What’s that?

S: When they give an inch, take a mile.

A: I think that needs a little elaboration.

S: If they let you hold their hand, caress it. If they let you put your hand somewhere, go for other places. Take a risk.

A: And what is the philosophy of the dance?

S: A pioneer explores. He is in uncharted territory. He has to be intrepid. The way that we explore the body of another is the way that we explore an undiscovered continent.

A: An explorer of the body? And the map?

S: The map is love. And the body is love. The lover is love. And the beloved is love.

A: The whole journey is love?

S: Can there be any objection? While no one knows what love is, there are many things that are love. And I myself, I am love.

flying away

29.11.2025

S: There is this poem. It goes something like the ones that used to run towards us, now they fly away. It is true.

A: True in what sense?

S: There were those that I loved. I used to look forward to seeing them. Every time I looked at them I felt happiness inside. Seeing them smile made me feel joy. I would hang on their words and want to be with them forever.

A: And now?

S: I do not look at them. I avoid them. I run away from them. I do not want to hear their voices or know about them.

A: Why?

S: They judged me. I judge them for it. And above everything else, I cannot forgive them for not returning my love when they knew how much I cared about them. I can’t forgive them for pretending to care about me when they didn’t.

A: How do you know that?

S: Because the ones that care for me will make any excuse to be with me. Friends or lovers. They will remove every obstacle instead of putting them up. They want every opportunity to see me. They get as much of me as they can. That is what it means to care for someone. Not some fake pretence of niceness.

A: You hold a grudge against the fake? They are not worth it. This place is full of fakes. Because in their heart there is no love. You that know this, accept it.

S: I am a worshipper of love. The hope and belief in love is something that I cannot lose.

how a piece of shit thinks (microfiction)

28.11.2025

S: You don’t have to wonder what a piece of shit thinks. They are trumpeting it everywhere. Trump is trumpeting it. And so is that fucking arsehole Farage. In fact this whole fascist government is trumpeting that fucking bullshit.

A: And what is it that this piece of shit is thinking?

S: Anyone with any sense knows that instead of putting their own house in order, these racist vermin are blaming all of the problems that they have created on ethnic minorities and people coming into the country. Deflection. Externalisation. In a word, bullshit. While the ethnic minorities and people coming into the country are doing all the work that they won’t and can’t do.

A: How is it working?

S: While their racist ‘civilisation’ is dictating the terms of conduct and thought throughout the whole world, as they continue to colonise the whole world and eradicate difference, they are pretending that they are at risk of extinction. Because these fascists can’t tolerate that there might be a different way of living and thought. While they are hoarding all the wealth in the world for themselves and stealing it from others, they are pretending that we are stealing all their wealth. They can’t stand meritocracy and fair competition because they have no talent themselves – only their privilege.

A: Who are the morons that are falling for this shit?

S: The moron has nothing. No talent and no spirit or thought. They are fucking slaves. What they have is the colour of their skin or their nationality. And they think, because of that, that they are better than everyone else. But they don’t really believe that they are better than anyone else. Because inside, they know that they are nothing but a piece of shit. So they try to pick on who they perceive is weaker than themselves, all the while knowing that those people are better than they are. Because those others are not full of hate like they are. These fucking slaves don’t have the fighting spirit to wage war against the rich. They are sycophants and bend over to let the rich and powerful fuck them. So they pick on who they perceive as the poor and hungry. They don’t have belief in their own ‘civilisation’ – they think that anyone can displace it and rule over them. They are cowards that move in a herd and have no originality or independence of vision. They love lies. They love hate. They hate love.

A: How do you stop a piece of shit thinking like a piece of shit?

S: They only have hate. That is all they have. Read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. Trash only has race and nationality, they don’t have anything else. They are hollow scum. Just like Mayella Ewell is ruled over by her ignorant father in the novel to believe that she is superior because of the colour of her skin, so these fucking morons, these fucking slaves can only be ruled with hate.

The Tyranny of Time, Space and Situation

27.11.2025
S: How does anyone do anything?
A: They try. They do.
S: I am talking about the conditions. The constraints of time, space and situation.
A: Others surpass them.
S: Yet they are unsurpassable. You need the right timing. You need the right situation. You need the space to do it. The conditions are hostile.
A: You are having trouble?
S: It is always the same story. How is anyone supposed to love in these conditions? In terms of achievement, I have become a published writer and professional photographer despite everyone. But for love, I have always struggled. There is always something. The curse follows me around.
A: There is no curse.
S: Perhaps there is. You have to fit love around work. You have to fit it around other people, this constant stream of other people that are always around. You have to fit love around your commitments, all the volunteering work, all the extra curricular activities.
A: Do what you always do. Cram it all together. Just keep on adding more things to cram together. Just cram more.
S: What amazes me is that some people have multiple partners at the same time. How do they do it?
A: You put a lot of labour into your romantic investments. It is the difference between intensive cultivation and a hands-off approach.
S: Hands off does not work for me. I am hands on.
A: Well then, stretch yourself a little bit more. Don’t stretch yourself too thin though.
S: Love has its own resilience. In a world of ice, love will sprout its seeds and send them where there is no nourishment, no water. In a world of no time, love will create its moments. Where there is no space, love will emerge. Where there is no love in a situation, still love happens. And do you know what? Love will dominate. Because this love comes from one that is named after the god of love. Krishna. Krishna enchants the world. And Radha enchants Krishna. Their world is love.

the breath of destiny (microfiction)

26.11.2025

S: When I take a pause, I feel destiny. She is breathing down my neck.

A: How can you believe in destiny? It is an outdated notion.

S: I have been raised to fulfil a destiny. To protect The Mother. I am named after it. It is the teaching in the culture. It is us, the warrior culture.

A: How much do you do for this destiny?

S: I work in education. I teach. I write to promote diversity. I volunteer at charities. I do all that I can while earning a living. I protect my birth mother. I protected my grandmother. It is never enough. When I was young, I swore that I would change this world. I have done my utmost with the opportunities that I was given, which are not many.

A: Do you believe that you have changed the world for the better?

S: Yes, I believe.

A: Regrets?

S: That there is not the war. And that I have not died a glorious death in the war.

A: Will there ever be a war?

S: I believe in the Revolution. Whatever anyone else thinks about it, no matter how vicious this world is, I believe in the Revolution. And I am always ready to fight. I am spoiling for a fight. Warrior destiny is the war. To create that spark that will burn the world. I am not alone. There are others.

A: How can you be a warrior if there is no war?

S: The war is all around us. The war for us. Look and you shall see. Take the scales off of your eyes. There is a system that the slaves to the state have made. It is the system of slavery because they cannot think beyond slavery. And I am no slave. I won’t bow my head to anyone but The Mother. There is no one fit to rule above me. That is what you call self-belief and self-respect. Only I am fit to govern myself. That is what this war is. Me against this world that would have me in chains and licking their boots. I am not a sycophant and a boot licker. It is better to live with nothing than to be someone’s slave. I live the life of a king. That is why I am the man of destiny.