the misanthrope

01.02.2026

A: Why do you hate other people so much?

S: I just got off the train. These people fucking stink. They have no concept of territory so they invade my personal space and touch me when it is the least thing wanted. You talk to them. They are not only stupid but full of hate. Try to think of intelligence and study around them. They will not entertain it. They will block it. They block love. They block ambition and talent. Who would love them?

A: They are loved more than you.

S: They are in love with evil. That is this society.

A: In India you do not fit in. In England you do not fit in. The problem is not them. It is you.

S: Fuck fitting in. Fuck them.

A: You need them. They do not need you.

S: The god walks upon earth. He is the prayer of the people. He is the prayer of The Mother.

A: You believe? Truly?

S: Life is confusion and disorientation. They would have me believe I am not god. But I am. You cannot destroy the divine.

A: Where will your hate of the people take you?

S: Who cares what they think? They have not given the god the due. I scorn them.

A: You are fighting with no army.

S: I am The Tiger. Alone I am more than enough.

ego and fight

02.02.2026

A: You are always fighting. Because you have a big ego.

S: To fight and to war is warrior destiny.

A: And ego?

S: Ego itself is fight. The ego is a defensive formation. It is protection.

A: Do you ever think that you have too much ego?

S: Whoever tries to disrespect the people, or The Mother, we will not tolerate it. We will teach them a lesson. And we are men. They are not. We will teach them the lesson.

A: Do we really have to fight for respect in this day and age?

S: When have you not had to fight for it? The world is full of evil. It is full of enemies that live in shame with no honour. This is the world of the shameless. They would drag you down into the corruption with them. Look at their society. They are monsters. They are disgusting.

A: And where does this ego and this fight come from? How is it made?

S: The Mother comes in song. She comes in dance. She comes in words and pictures. She reveals her beauty to her son and her lover. She is our honour. She is our love. She is us. She is our ego.

A: You would be the slave of a queen?

S: She is our heart. You cannot separate your heart from your spirit.

A: And this mother, what does she give you?

S: Everything. That is why she is The Mother Queen. One to follow to the death. One to follow into heaven. One to follow into hell if it is needed. With a smile on our faces.

the persistence of the readers

31.01.2026

S: There was this guy after them. The way that he spoke, the way that he looked at them. They knew it, what it was. Because you can’t fake emotion like that. But it ended with silence and separation. However, then, this guy was a writer. So they are all reading his words.

A: A story that you heard from someone somewhere?

S: Perhaps. Perhaps a story. Perhaps I heard it.

A: Why would someone read from across the distance?

S: Do you think that the guy was completely obtuse? The guy knew that they liked him.

A: Was that not wishful thinking?

S: Then explain why they sit there reading his words. What would be the point of it? Because the story is not over. Because you can’t just kill feelings. But they will be gone soon enough. Separation kills everything. You keep on getting further and further apart from each other.

A: This is a strange story.

S: They were strange people. You know, there is a type of person. When you are close to them, emotionally and in proximity, they do not even see you there. You are not a person to them. But when you are gone, then they suddenly achieve the realisation that you are a person.

A: He has done well to get shot of them. They can only appreciate what they have not got. That is not a good trait.

S: Of course not. But you can’t just cure immaturity and lack of experience. You know, in this society, everyone is expendable. But everyone is not expendable in Punjabi society. They are all jewels, the most precious thing of yours. Here, you can throw anyone away and throw anyone over. Because they believe that they will meet someone just as good or better. There are plenty of opportunities. That is why no one really matters and there is no love in this society. But where I’m from? You would die for the ones that you love. And gladly. You would do anything to keep them. The cultural contrast is too much.

A: But you let the ones that you loved go.

S: You can’t force them to love you back. Their love shrank from expression. There was nothing to be done about it. Now I am with someone that reciprocates feeling.

A: You knew that they liked you.

S: You cannot force yourself on someone. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. They had long enough. Whatever their regrets or joys that they are not with The Tiger, they are not with The Tiger. They read his words. They think of what he is doing. For no reason. No result.

A: And what did The Tiger do today?

S: The Tiger communicated with the one that is his because they can communicate. The Tiger shopped in two bookstores after work. The Tiger went to the gym and worked through his anger and frustration with heavy weights. The Tiger shopped at Lidl. The Tiger finished the novel that the one that is his gave him as a present on his commute. The Tiger drew on his tablet with his stylus. The Tiger wrote. In the day, the Tiger read ‘The Brain on Art’, psychology articles, and the news and poetry in Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Spanish and French. Before he caught the train, The Tiger saw a quick film at the Outernet. The Tiger ate a free dinner at Kentucky Fried Chicken. The Tiger keeps busy. He wants to do something with his life. He cannot be with those that do nothing.

a day in culture

30.01.2025

‘So,’ he asked me, ‘What did you get up to today?’

Alfonso had been dreamily staring into the distance. It was no good asking him what he was thinking in that tailored, beautiful grey suit of his that accentuated his sleek good looks. When he was thinking, he was gone from this world. But, at last, he had finally arisen from his slumber and deigned to parley with a mere mortal, myself.

‘Well, today, when I have not been calling the one that is mine, I have been immersed in culture. I was at the Singh Twins exhibition at Kew Gardens poring over the digital drawings. Then, there was a catch up with friends followed by a stint in the Science Museum as I explored an exhibition on the Future of Food. I rushed from there like a madman and made it into the ‘Zootopia 2’ film. I love animation. I love art. The first film, I took my nephew to watch it and it was his first film in a cinema. I created that memory for him. As I walked out of the cinema, there was a band playing in Westfield Shopping Centre, a lady banging at some drums, a cool guy with a saxophone and another guy that was equally as cool playing the decks as a DJ.’

‘A fine mixture of art, film, music and science and the environment. You do keep yourself busy dabbling in all sorts of different things.’

‘We only have one life,’ I said. ‘I want to keep on learning things, exploring this great world of ours. I want to keep connected to science and culture and the future. I am greedy for life in a way that people have forgotten to be. Greedy for new experiences to keep on changing and reshaping this mind of mine.’

‘What do you have planned for the rest of this day?’

‘I will read the novel that the one that cares for me has given to me.’

‘A beautiful end to a beautiful day. One that shares literature with you. You are lucky.’

‘It took me much time to get this lucky.’

‘How do you reflect on this day in culture?’ Alfonso gave me the look of a schoolmaster. He was maddeningly patronising in his airs sometimes. But because he was a goodnatured fellow, I would let it pass.

‘As I have often told you, I often thank myself for making my life such a beautiful one. I have chosen this life of study, of keeping up with things, of always extending myself and my knowledge. I have chosen to be a voracious reader and looker and thinker. I have always grown this mind from the tiny seed that it once was into a mighty banyan tree.’

‘I see you deliberately pick an Eastern tree to make this metaphor.’

‘Yes, it is consciously done. I am proud of being Punjabi. I am proud of coming from Mother India.’

‘Are there any other reflections?’

‘I think on how it could have all been different. I could have been with one of those other ones that would have been sharing my day with me. And then life would have had a different colour and a different taste. Instead of the strawberries, perhaps cherries. Instead of the cola, perhaps lemonade. The caprice of the ones that we love. It shapes our destinies. And? Perhaps they would muse on these words of mine and think what it would have been if they had put their slender and smooth hands into mine, the hands of this warrior and this Tiger. These hands that would have held them for the rest of their life in love, adulation and protection.’

‘Happiness is always tinged with sorrow. What we are given is always touched by loss.’

‘It is because it is so that we appreciate what we have. When I was in the wilderness, I could smell the milk and honey of the fortunate. Now I am fortunate myself but I have not forgotten the hunger and thirst of the wilderness. And those that put me there with their enmity.’

who or what

30.01.2026

A: Who or what are you writing for now?

S: Because no one wants me to. For no one. For nothing.

A: You would be a complete nihilist as a writer?

S: What can you expect from this world? If you expected something, you would be disappointed. So it is better not to expect.

A: What is the point of doing a pointless task? Why write if there is no reader? Why write if there is nothing?

S: You want to talk about a task with a point? Where is my just reward for being a genius, for being good, for doing more, for being better than everyone else?

A: You who hate this world and the people in it, you who thinks that nothing is good enough for you, why do you write?

S: I spit upon everyone and everything.

A: Why not forgive everyone and everything?

S: How many chances can you give someone?

A: Yet you are writing. You think that someone will listen. That someone will read. What good will it do you? What is there to expect now from a reader? You no longer care about sympathy, agreement, good will, love, anything.

S: It is not that I don’t care. It is knowing that I will never get anything. There is nothing to be had from this world and these people in it.

A: People hate your cynicism and pessimism.

S: When they can become great like me, then I will care what they think of me, these cheating and lying, jealous fucking bastards that won’t give me anything that I deserve.

power hunger

27.01.2025

S: Those that want power and that get some power, they hold onto it desperately, with everything that they have got.

A: Example?

S: Why do you think that they will not recruit from certain groups in society? It is all a game of power. Power means having in this society. It is not India where those that do not have have the greatest power. In India, the poor and the disenfranchised are the ones that control the votes. They vote more than the wealthy. Here, it is the wealthy that control the politics. Wealth is power over here. So, therefore, they try to keep some from wealth. They are gatekeepers. That is what they think power is.

A: So, the professions where the wealth is, they keep us out?

S: Precisely. There is a devilry in the deception and the defrauding that goes on here with opportunities.

A: Anything further?

S: It is also a game of sexual power. In this society, it is wealth that is seductive. The way that the wealthy are. By denying wealth, you are denying sexual power.

A: And what has happened with you?

S: I am wealthy despite them. Because someone that works as hard as me will never be poor. Someone that can do so much will never be poor. I have power. I have a voice. I have soft power. As a writer, a journalist, a photographer, an artist, as someone that shapes cultural experiences. They couldn’t stop me. I am invincible. However much they tried to keep me from power, I have power anyway. No one can stop me. I am a dominant force. What is their power before the power of The Tiger? It is nothing. What is outside of Punjab has never been able to triumph over Punjab.

the ugliness of truth

27.01.2026

S: The poet says that beauty is truth. Anything but. Truth is ugly. We say the ugly truth.

A: Why ugly?

S: Because the world is ugly. So any truth about this world is ugly too.

A: Do you not say that the world that you have made for yourself is beautiful?

S: I do not lie to myself. There is beauty. But also much ugliness and corruption. You cannot escape the evil of other people.

A: Are people evil?

S: The sicknesses of society, they are carried by people.

A: So, truth is ugly and there is evil in people.

S: Everything that is touched by this society is tainted. Ask those who are oppressed, marginalised and silenced. Look at what passes as discourse in this world. Look at the people they choose, that lead them. A cast of villains.

A: You call yourself the truth. Are you ugly?

S: To them, yes. Because to the tyrant, the Revolution in its splendour is ugly. To the tyrant, criticism, difference and justice, these are all ugly. To the tyrant, anything against his form and identity is ugly. And I am everything that is other. I am The Tiger.

the strategy of victim blaming

26.01.2025

S: You know when they killed those people that stood up to ICE, the fascists blamed the victims and not the perpetrators. Even when they looked at the video evidence which was absolutely fucking clear that they were innocent victims, they still blamed the victims.

A: Why do you think they do that?

S: Because bullies and fascists are fucking scum. Their ideology makes them blind and deaf. And there’s more.

A: What?

S: They blame the victim because they are unjust. Because they have to justify their inhumanity and violence to themselves. It is not just ICE and Trump, is it? All these racist vermin justify their racism and exploitation of anyone that is perceived as different from them.

A: Example?

S: Do you know how much experience I have and how many qualifications? And yet, at interviews it is just rejection after rejection from these people, these racists. And who do they blame? Me. They pretend that I am not doing something right. When, in fact, even if I pass their stupid fucking interview, they still won’t give me the thing. They have a reserve list and then you never hear back from them. Because they make a point of never choosing me because I’m brown. You hear the victim blamers saying that I am overqualified too – that I am literally too good for any job. It is the truth. I am better than any opportunity that is offered to me. But it is still fucking ridiculous the shit that comes out of their mouths.

A: What is the point of this victim blaming strategy?

S: What else is it? They want the victim to feel inferior. That he is not doing something right. That he should change his behaviour. When it is them, these racists that should change their behaviour. They want to pretend that their racism is the natural way of things and that they have a meritocracy. They want to pretend that they are just when they are unjust. They don’t want things to change. They want to be monsters forever. That is why they are fucking vermin. This shit has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years. Do they change? Fuck no. All that there is in the world of the racist is injustice. And yet this is what goes on, this injustice.

A: Can the monster ever become beautiful?

S: The monster thinks that he is beautiful and that anyone different from the monster is ugliness personified. The monster stinks of shit and thinks that he smells of roses. The monster speaks corruption and thinks that honey and gold flows from his mouth. The monster is appalling. He thinks that he is god. But he is not god. I am god. I am The Tiger. I have been blessed by The Mother. I am truth and I am justice. I am the prayer of the people. I am a genius. I am a hero. Them? They are villains. They are not fit for me. It is not the other way around. Who the fuck are they? Nothings. Non-men. Incapable and corrupt. You see what is around ourselves. Pure mediocrity and incompetence.

oh fleeting moments

25.01.2026

S: There is this Hindi film, ‘Border’. The sequel is just out now. It stars my favourite actor. And it has this song in it, ‘Oh Fleeting Moments’ (Ae Jaate Hue Lamhon). The lover is singing to his beloved. He hopes to halt time. Because he has only a few moments with the one that he loves before he goes to war.

A: It is always the war with you.

S: I have told you the philosophy of the warrior. It is the philosophy of love. War and love go hand in hand. They are not opposed to each other. They are one and the same.

A: Why talk about this song?

S: I remembered today the gone. The ones that had the highest place in this heart. But what a fool I was, that I did not understand false friendship.

A: If they were false, why remember them?

S: It is not so simple to forget. If only it were. But the point is that if I could have frozen the moments when I felt connected to them, would I do so? If we could dwell forever in the happiness of a moment, would we appreciate it?

A: What do you mean?

S: The song ‘Fleeting Moments’ relies on a contrast. It is the happiness of the moment that is going to give way to the horrors of war. You only appreciate the happy moments because of the atrocity that there is when there are not the happy moments with the beloved.

A: I tell you once again to forget these false friends of yours. They do not remember you. They forget and move on instantly. You were and are nothing to them. So make them nothing to you too. Reciprocate the feeling.

S: They are stone. They are ice. I am the fire. They might have been false. I was true.

A: How true were you? You played the part too. You didn’t reveal your real feelings.

S: They knew what I felt. It is in the eyes.

A: How can you still be grieving? You have someone.

S: It is called loss for a reason. You never recover from it. The ones that you care for, they are not expendable.

A: They are not dead.

S: There was no connection. It was false. It was an illusion. You cannot chase an illusion. Something breaks down because they want it to be broken. The ones that are closest to you, you can never let them go and they will never let you go either. Instead, what do these do? At best, they are reading my words. Through a great distance.

imagined indian films

23.01.2026

S: In this head, strange new tunes and songs take shape. Revolutionary new ideas. Words, literature, art. And also, scenes from films.

A: A busy head, a creative’s head.

S: There is a father by his grown son’s bed. The father has some terminal illness too. They are both close to death’s door. They have attacked his son. His only son. His beloved son. We watch scenes of him raising this child. He stands up. He says ‘Your father is still alive’. Tera baap abhi tak zinda hai. He vows to hunt them down and kill them all.

A: The film of one addicted to action. So, all the characters in your films are Indian?

S: Yes. The next scene. The brother who is to fight the villain for honour has been brutally defeated and killed in a fight with him. The son that no one expects, one with a disability, he is the one that has to fight.

A: Another underdog story. Another story about revenge.

S: But also about relationships. The family. Another? They raped his mother. They killed men in his family. He is the son from that rape. She hid the truth from him. She wants to protect him from revenge. When he learns, he asks who the father is. She will not tell him. He puts a gun to his head. He knows he is in the photograph. He says to his mother, it is him or me. One has to die. You have to choose. Just point your finger. She chooses the photograph and he bathes in blood.

A: Violence. Family. Honour. Action.

S: The components of an Indian film. The imagination of the warrior culture.

A: And the scenes of love?

S: These are the scenes of love. Anyone that is against the family is our enemy. We are Tigers. Our love is ferocious. We have sworn to protect each other.