denial

27.12.2025

S: I don’t care what they say about it or what anyone else thinks about it. They are racist bastards. They are fucking vermin.

A: You think they would admit it?

S: They will fuck you over with a smile. They enjoy it. They are liars and frauds. They are backstabbers and cowards. They are evil. Of course they would never admit it. They deny their evil because they know it is evil. They are fakes. They are not human.

A: Why this tirade?

S: It is not of now. It is what I know throughout life.

A: How?

S: Who do you think has ever helped me or given me an opportunity when it comes to money or status? I am one of the most talented men in this country. Top grades. Massive achievements. Every job I have done I have been a top employee. And where is the reward? There is only one explanation. Racism and jealousy. They are threatened by me and try to keep me and us down. They have shown how much they love us.

A: What would you do? There is nothing you can do about it.

S: But you can always say the truth. That they are vermin. That they have no hearts. That they think they are better than us over nothing. But they are much worse than us. They are not even human. They are monsters. Monsters that deny their monstrosity, that call us mad and liars. I point the finger. I am the truth. I am a man and not a monster.

the happiness of duty (microfiction)

26.12.2025

S: When he died, he said ‘Thank god I have done my duty.’ There is no satisfaction like the satisfaction of duty.

A: Who says? You might have a better life without duty. It can’t be duty all the time.

S: How can you have a moment’s peace or happiness if you haven’t done your duty?

A: What brings this on?

S: I have someone. I feel happy. But I can’t be fully happy until I have fulfilled my duty. I don’t want happiness to take over my responsibilities.

A: Does it have to do that?

S: There is a risk. There is always a risk with duty. Because it is much easier and more convenient not to do your duty. That is what most people do. I do not want to be like them. With me, duty has to come first.

A: Just enjoy your happiness.

S: There is this worry. That this happiness will end.

A: If duty does not make you happy, forget about duty.

S: You know, when we got the news of my grandfather’s death, I had to take the phone call. I was the man in the house. I was the only one that could speak English. I had just been told that my grandfather had died. My beloved grandfather. Do you know the first thing that I had to do? I had to walk over to my grandmother’s house and get her so that we could take care of her and console her. I knew that she would know what had happened when I went there because I had just walked over from her house. I was sleeping over there at the time. I forced myself to walk to her house. I forced myself to pretend that nothing had happened, like I had been told to do. I forced myself to do it. I did it because it was my duty. It was my duty to protect her and look after her so that she was not alone.

A: Don’t think about those moments. They are gone. Forget about them. Heal yourself from those moments.

S: I forced myself to do it. I forced myself to act that part. I did my duty. And every time, I will have to do my duty. It doesn’t matter if I don’t want to do it and it is hard. It doesn’t matter what it costs. I will do it.

christmas day (microfiction)

25.12.2025

A: Now it is over. Did you enjoy Christmas day? And what did you get up to?

S: I spent most of the day with my friend after phoning the Lady for an hour in the morning, learning languages and completing another module of my management course. We had an excellent Christmas lunch of beef wellingtons and spicy pepperoni and pepper pizza. With some beautiful Marks and Spencer’s chocolates. We talked and played Scrabble. Some family time for dinner where I had tandoori chicken, wholemeal pitta breads, a freshly cut salad and a yoghurt and mint sauce. Dessert was a chocolate yule cake which had chocolate sauce on the outside and cream inside. Afterwards, I watched Mrs Robinson with my friend for the first time at his place and then we called one of our other mates together before I called the Lady again on the walk home.

A: What did you make of Mrs. Robinson?

S: She is infinitely seductive. An experienced older lady that knows what she wants. A powerful woman that revolts against the trap that is marriage.

A: You were seduced?

S: Was Mrs. Robinson trying to seduce me?

A: That is for you to tell.

S: Or not as the case may be. A fine film.

A: How do you reflect upon this day?

S: It was fun. Some work and a lot of pleasure. I managed languages learning and reading up on psychology as well. But my thoughts are with those that were alone today.

A: Any other thoughts before retiring for the night?

S: I have decided upon my New Year’s Resolution. To make sure I do either the exercise bike or running on the treadmill more regularly. And to read more. Always, there is more reading to do. If a writer does not read, how can he write?

Suneel’s Christmas Message – TfL RACE CNG Newsletter December 2025

It is time to write a Christmas message. I write this message as someone that comes from a Hindu, Guru Ravidasia and Sikh background but, as everyone knows, Christmas has become cosmopolitan in the United Kingdom, even regarded by many as a secular festival. All faiths and backgrounds sit together on Christmas day to make it an occasion for family and friends. Christmas is celebrated in different ways by all of us but we share the celebration together.

In my view, one of the themes of Christmas is a belief in dignity against a society that may take dignity away from people. Jesus is born to a poor family, in a stable, and first welcomed by shepherds—people on the margins of society. In addition, Jesus was a Jew from Galilee and Jews in 1st-century Judea were an ethno-religious minority living under Roman imperial rule, with limited political power. Within the Roman world, Jewish people were often stereotyped, taxed heavily, and at times persecuted for their customs and beliefs. So for me, the nativity story, which sees Jesus as God, returns dignity among those often overlooked.

If there was an earnest belief in dignity, I believe the work of improving society would have been done and the champions of diversity could rest. This could have happened long ago. One of the great examples of the belief in dignity is the Edict of Ashoka from the 3rd Century BCE. Reeling from the devastation of wars that he had caused, wracked by guilt, Ashoka turned to compassion and respect for all people to transform himself and his world.

In his rock and pillar edicts, Ashoka affirmed the inherent dignity of every individual, passing over divisions of ethnicity, religion, or social status. Ashoka supported religious tolerance among Buddhists, Hindus, Jains, Greeks, Persians, and other groups within the empire. He promoted equal justice and humane treatment under the law, as well as respectful dialogue between cultures rather than dominance or suppression. Ashoka wrote that honouring others’ beliefs “strengthens one’s own faith,” reflecting an early understanding that dignity and equality thrive in diverse societies.

The nativity story and Ashoka matter to us today. The belief in human dignity is not a modern invention but has deep historical roots. This belief has long been essential to peaceful coexistence in multicultural societies. I hope that we can all believe in dignity so that we can all live dignified lives. Not just at Christmas, but all the year round. My thoughts go out to the Jewish community as I write because of the recent Bondi Beach mass shooting, but also to all in this world affected by those for whom there is evidently not a belief in dignity, of the dignity of life, the dignity of choice, the dignity of difference and the dignity of diversity.

Dr. Suneel Mehmi (Lead Editor)

christmas eve (microfiction)

25.12.2025

S: I feel content and peaceful. Fulfilled.

A: How so?

S: This Christmas Eve, I have spent it with three of the people that I like the most in the world. The Lady. The Friend. And The Mother.

A: What did you actually get up to though?

S: With the socialising, a walk in the park. Dinner at home. And then the pub.

A: I won’t ask the different combinations of venue and party. Anything else that added to that feeling of contentment?

S: Here is the list of things that I did today:

– meditation

– chi building

– Weight training with light weights

– reading about Ancient India

– languages learning in Spanish, French, Urdu, Punjabi and Hindi in newspapers and poetry.

– listening to Hindi film songs and Chinese film soundtracks. Listening to jazz and soul.

– shopping and window shopping for jewellery, books, chocolate, cakes and clothes.

– a long walk in the park

– a photoshoot and editing photos

– sharing a previous photoshoot on social media

– looking at art and photography on Instagram

– writing

A: A busy day indeed.

S: I like to keep very busy. It makes life go along quicker.

A: When do you relax?

S: That is my relaxation. Self improvement. Study. Creativity. Time with the people that are close to me. I want to keep getting better and better. A great day today and many more to come this season and New Year. It is a lucky time in my life.

security and happiness (microfiction)

23.12.2025

S: If you know that when you fall, that there is someone to catch you, that is happiness in love.

A: How do you know that they will catch you?

S: Because when you slip along the ice, they hold your hand tight, they hold you tight in the cold. They would rather fall with you then let you go.

A: You trust so much.

S: Whatever I say, I believe in the goodness of those close to me and their love.

A: You have curated people very carefully.

S: I made mistakes. I was with the people that are false. But when The Tiger opens his heart, he never fears. My duty is bravery.

A: And you?

S: Nobody around me can fall. This hand is strong. I have been a nurse, a carer, a counsellor, a therapist, an advocate, a teacher, an organiser, a babysitter, a playmate. Everything. Love has taught me.

A: Well, you have done the work. Now you have one that thinks of you, that looks out for you, that looks over you, that cares for you.

S: Our choice, our judgement. It has been proven right. One recognised what was within and I also saw what was in their heart. The heart that is true – a rarity in this world of deceit and hate.

the voice inside (microfiction)

22.12.2025

S: Against the voice outside, there is the voice inside.

A: How you talk to yourself?

S: Yes, the voice of power and the voice of daring.

A: What does the voice inside say?

S: The voice inside tells me that I am Love. The voice inside says to break the mouth of the law, the corruption of what counts as right and justice here. The voice inside tells me that I am a hero, that I am a genius, that I am the only real man in this country.

A: You are so proud of being a man. It is just a gender category.

S: It is one that I have chosen. And been chosen for. To stand for strength and courage. To stand for protection. The warrior.

A: They say that you are toxic.

S: Freedom says fuck you. Freedom says fuck you to the world. Fuck your cowardice, fuck your lack of ability and fuck your prejudice. They are happy for their fucking little non-men to have their unjust and false wars for the corruption that is the state. They are happy for these perverts to rape women abroad and to kill the innocent. I do not fight for the state. I fight for the people, for us. For the Oppressed.

A: Where is your war?

S: In everything that I do. How I love. How I write. What I think. What I do. It is the Revolution.

A: And the voice outside?

S: The voice outside is saying not to be a man. Not to have desire. That me and my people are nothing, to be cast aside and away. The voice outside is saying to be a slave and a non-man, like the slaves and the non-men here. The voice outside is saying to live a selfish and greedy life with no responsibilities and no values. The voice outside is saying let the rich fuck you and rule over you. To accept race as a marker of status and privilege and to eat this fucking bullshit because of my ethnicity. This voice is hate. It says to hate. To abandon love.

A: This voice says all these things?

S: The voice inside is more powerful than the voice outside. The voice inside is winning. Freedom says fuck you.

a nice memory (microfiction)

21.12.2025

A: What is the most beautiful memory you have?

S: I’ve been brought up with a lot of care and attention. I have many beautiful memories. Why choose just one?

A: Okay, it does not have to be the most beautiful. Just one that is beautiful.

S: Well, the one is one that happened many times. We would be staying at our grandparents’ house in London. It was exciting to be in London by itself. And my grandad would get us together and tell us a story before bedtime. And then he would ask us what the story meant at the end. Sometimes, he would take us on long walks and then tell us the stories as we were walking.

A: Those are your best memories? Stories?

S: They were stories told through love. They might not give happiness to some people, I know that all too well, I that write my stories. But they gave me happiness. And after the stories, my grandfather would be my bedfellow. I always slept in the same bed with him when I stayed over at his house. Because I was the closest to my grandfather. We were like best friends.

A: From being this kid that was excited by stories, why have you become this angry animal? If you had such a happy childhood, why are you full of rage and sadness?

S: Even when I was a child, I had anger management problems. I was born to be The Tiger.

A: Do you often dwell on these happy moments?

S: It is Christmas time. Today, a man told me that at Christmas time, you remember the ones that are not there. The ones that you had with you at Christmas. Do you know, there was this one. I asked them out in the New Year. It was my New Year’s resolution. I had them for that Christmas, thinking that they were mine although I did not celebrate it with them. I remember my grandparents at their house. We would have Christmas there. What is that if it is not dwelling on happy moments?

A: Happiness tinged with grief.

S: There was a time when they laughed that I felt all the joy in the world. Life has changed. Now, they are all gone from my life. They are either the dead or the living dead. They all left me.

A: Well now you have someone. And you can live in their laughter.

the beauty of evil

21.12.2025

S: In ‘Snow White’, the Queen is beautiful. And she is evil. In ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’, he is evil and beautiful. So is Cersei Lannaster in ‘The Game of Thrones’.

A: The point? Is there one?

S: Evil is beautiful.

A: How so?

S: Let’s ignore the misogynistic currents in ‘Snow White’ and ‘The Game of Thrones’ for just now, their attack on women of power. The fact is that evil is beautiful. How else would it seduce the unwary?

A: A strong thesis.

S: And evil attracts beauty. That orange prick Trump has a supermodel wife. That bastard Farage has beautiful women around him too.

A: So evil is beautiful and evil attracts beauty?

S: The reality is though, that the beauty of evil is temporary and unreal. Both Cersei, the Queen and Dorian Gray lose in the contest of beauty as they are overtaken by their sins.

A: These are tales.

S: Yes, in reality, the beauty of evil is triumphant and the weak are seduced.

A: But you?

S: The evil of the beautiful did not lead me away from the path of destiny. Duty still stands before me. I follow the beauty of Punjab. I almost fell. I didn’t. The lover of the beautiful loves only those and that which are truly beautiful. As the song says: Dwell I in the land of beauty/My name is love.

mother medicine

20.12.2025

A: Why didn’t you succumb to the depression?

S: Why did I get up in the morning out of bed and I was never late for work? Why did I pass my university exams? Why did I volunteer at all those places? Why did I work six jobs and all the overtime that I could get? Why did I educate my nephew so that he passed his exams in every spare moment that I had? Why did I help my friends through their problems without telling them about my own problems?

A: Yes. Why? How did you do it? What is the cure?

S: Because even when I felt like shit, I had to pretend in front of my mother that there was nothing wrong. So that I did not hurt her. So that she did not think there was any problem. Because there were people depending on me and people that looked up to me. That needed me.

A: You did that for two whole years?

S: I could die for my mother. What is a bit of acting compared to that? I have sworn to protect her. She wanted me to work. She wanted me to be a man. Not just a man. The man.

A: This face that you showed the world, this laughing face, how could you play that role for two whole years?

S: You don’t get an Oscar for real life. In real life, there is only one take. Everything that I do, I am talented at. Acting as well.

A: Isn’t the new philosophy that you should go broken to the doctor and your whole life should be broken if you are sad?

S: The sadness that I had was real. It wasn’t based on nothing. It was based on heartbreak and trauma. I am not of this generation of people. I am six thousand years old. The brave live throughout sadness and loss. They do not fall into the pit. I am strength. I am resilience. I am The Tiger. And the mother of The Tiger expects a warrior. That is my power. That is why I am invincible and indefatigable.